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  • Aug. 4, 1894
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The Freemason's Chronicle, Aug. 4, 1894: Page 8

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    Article BREVITY. Page 1 of 1
    Article BREVITY. Page 1 of 1
    Article Masonic Sonnets, No. 98. Page 1 of 1
Page 8

Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.

Brevity.

BREVITY .

ri ^ HE voluble Irishman who had wearied his audience with a JL speech so long as to reach from Dan to Becrsheba , and who criticised a growing iualtcutiou by exclaiming , " Ye pay no more regard than if I was a dumb baste talking to ye ' . " was evidently unacquainted with that form of rhetoric which is used to express terseness or conciseness in speaking and writing , known to grammarians by the term btachylogy .

Only a few weeks ago , Mr . Justice Hawkins , who was hearing a case in the Queen's Bench Divisiou , reproved a witness as follows J' You seem very fond of talking . Let me tell you that time here is very valuable , and while you are talking it costs about half-acrown every minute . Somebody will havo to pay for it . "

Liwaug , an ancient Emperor of China once issued an edict lorbiddiug all conversation , even whispering in his dominions . No doubt he had beeu bothered with , and had grown weary of the fads aud crochets of those surrounding him , for probably in those days there were men who were troubled with " caccethesloquendi . '' Like Sfc . Sebald , who , for want of wood kept his fire going with icicles , so some never tire in their persistency . When we meet with their opposites the fact is worthy of recording .

The late Count Von Moltke has been described as the man who could be silent in seven languages , and ifc is somewhere said of Lord Beaconsfield , that he was a quiet but observant man in private circles who usually talked very little , bufc when he did , talked a very great deal .

Obtaining a Benefice . —Louis the XIV ., who disliked a prosy style , met on the road , as he was travelling into the country , a priest who was riding post ; and ordering him to stop , asked hastily , " Whence come you ? Where are you going ? What do you want ? "

The other , who well knew the king ' s disposition , instantly replied " From Bruges—To Paris—A Benefice ! " " You shall have it , " replied the king , and in a few days presented him with a valuable living . The above story has also been attributed to Henry the Fourth .

Sign . —A young Officer , serving in the army of Napoleon I ., had conceived au idea that his promotion was being retarded , and on a certain occasion intercepted the Emperor with the expression , " One word , sire ! " Tho Emperor gave a surprised look at the Officer , and after a moment's hesitation replied : " You shall have

it , but more than one word will subject you to instant punishment . " Tho Officer quickly produced some documents of an official character , and holding them before his Imperial master , said , " Sign ! " The Emperor immediately took the hint , and attached his signature , to the great joy of fche young Officer .

Down with your Dust . —There is a story told of Dean Swift , * which is thoroughly charactisfcic of thafc eccentric divine . After reading his text for a charity sermon , "He who giveth to the poor lendeth to the Lord , " tho Dean concluded his exhortation with the ono phrase , " There my Brethren , if you are satisfied with the security , down with your dust 1 "

An Actors Brusqueric—In 1748 , Quui , who had long been thc flespot of the English stage , finding that David Garrick was rising into popular estimation , and that the old school of actors was being superseded by the new , retired to Bath in disgust , and thus wrote to Rich , the creator of pantomimes : — "I am at Bath . Yours , James Quin . " To which tho other laconically replied : — " Stay there , and be d—d . Yours , John Rich . "

A Retort Discourteous . —Boswell onco addressed this query fco his friend Dr . Johnson : — " What would you do if you were shut up alone in a tower with a baby ? " To which the famous lexicographer retorted in language equally as curt , " Sir , you are an idiot 1 "

A reminder . —In the early part of the present century lived Lord Norbury , a brow-beafcing judge , who was notorious by reason of his extreme relish for capital conviction . He resided in the neighbourhood of Finglas , near Dublin , and his lands adjoined Dean Lindsay ' s . According to the " Dublin Freeman " ( November . 1827 ) , " the cattle belonging to the Judge had on one occasion trespassed upon the land of the Dean , and the latter invoked the

aid of the parish appraiser , who , under the recent Trespass Act , valued the amount of damage . Bufc it appears thafc the cattle of the Dean had some short time before got on to the Judge ' sland , and when the latter heard of the action which his neighbour had taken in the matter , sf-nt the Dean the following laconic letter : — " Dear Dean , —Forgive us our trespasses , as we forgive them who trespass against us . —Yours , Norbury ? "

Clerical Laconics .-A young member of the stanhope family wishing to be ordained , secured the interest of the Duke of York , who was also Bishop of Osnaburgh , and the latter put himself in communication with the Bishop of Cork , having in view tho advancement of his young friend and relative Stanhope . The following laconics passed between the two prelates : — " Dear Cork . —Ordain Stanhope . —Yours , York . " "Dear York . —Stanhope ' s ordained . —Yours , Cork . "

Disposing of ifc . —In his letter to the Duke of Leinster , acknowledging the receipt of a petition to his majesty , King William the Fourth , from certain Roman Catholics in Ireland , praying for Emancipation , the Duke of Wellington , then Prime Minister , thus laconically and suporcilliously wrote to his lordship : — "My Lord Duke , —I have the honour of receiving fche petition you forwarded to me , along with the tin case which enclosed ifc . I am , my Lord Duke , Your Grace ' s most obedient servant , Wellington . "

Soldiers' Prayers . —In 1715 , at a dinner given by the Duke of Ormond at Richmond , there were present among others Lords Marr , Jersey , Lansdown , and Atterbury , Bishop of Rochester . A dispute arose regarding shorfc prayers , when Sir William Wyndham , a guest , said thafc fche shortest prayer he had ever heard was that of a soldier , just before the battle of Blenheim : — " 0 God , if there be a God , save my soul , if I have a soul 1 "

Brevity.

The Bishop replied , ' Your prayer , Sir William , is indeed short , bufc I remember another as short , but a much better , offered up likewise by a soldier , under similar circumstances : — ' 0 God , if in the day of battle I forget Thee , do Thou not forget me !'" All to himself . —Mr . Payne Collier , in his notes , gives the following story of the author of " Christobel , " and " Aids to Reflection : " — " As Coleridge ( S . T . ) is a man of genius and knowledge , he seems

glad of opportunities of display ; being a good talker , he likes to get hold of a good listener ; he admits it , and told us the anecdote of some very talkative Frenchman , introduced to a dumb lady , who , however , politely appeared to hear all her locquacious visitor said . When this visitor afterwards met the friend who had introduced him , he expressed his obligation to thafc friend for bringing him acquainted with so agreeable and intelligent a woman , and was astonished and chagrined when told that she was dumb ! "

Quid pro Quo . —A critic , who happened to be a personal friend of David Roberts , the architectural painter , once found it necessary to write a very severe article upon some pictures of his , just exhibited . By way of soothing the man whom he had attacked , the critic indited the following letter , which he forwarded , — " My dear

Roberts , —You may have seen my remarks on your pictures ; I hopo they will make no difference in our friendship . —Yours , — & e ., — . " The reply of the painter was equally as laconic . " My dear — , The next time I meet you I shall pull your nose ; I hope it will make no difference in our friendship . —Yours , & c ., D . Roberts . "

Brief Despatches . —When Sir Colin Campbell obtained possession of Lucknow , during tho Indian Mutiny , he is reported to have telegraphed the information to headquarters briefly thus " I am in hick now . " Sir Charles Napier , on the capture of Scinde , announced his success in an equally laconic and witty manner . His entire message consisted of the word ' Peccavi" ( I have sinned ) .

A suggestive Gift . —A widower whom we knew had made up his mind to plunge again into matrimony , and wrote to a friend apprising him of the fact . The latter , who was evidently of Dr . Johnson's opinion that a second marriage was " the triumph of hope over experience , " replied to the communication by forwarding as a werlding present , without comment of any description , a copy of Milton ' s " Paradise Lost . "

A Shoemaker ' s Bill . — For conciseness in style , the following bill , which was tendered to a gentleman in Kent , will bear comparison with anything of its kind which we have seen .

" Squire D , Dr . to S—W , Shoemaker .

1821 Dec . 26 Clogg'd up Miss , lOd , mended up Miss , 2 d 10 1822 Jan . 3 rd Toe capped Master , lid , turned up , clogged up and mended tho Maid , ls 6 d 2 5 „ „ Heel tap't Master 3 „ 7 Lined , bound up , put a piece on Madam 4 0 „ „ Stitching up Miss Kitty 6

„ 12 Soloing the Maid 6 d , tapping Madam , 6 d 10 „ „ Putting a piece on Madam 2 Total 9 4 "

A bill , framed upon somewhat similar lines , was once presented fco a reverend gentleman as follows : — " The Rev . C . Marriott ,

To John Knapp , of Cofcesbach . To one wheelbarrow and a wooden do 5 s To one wheelbarrow and a wood do 5 s

5 s " The explanation is found in the fact that fche first wheelbarrow was defective , and " a " ( he ) would not do , bufc that fche second one was all right , and would do . " Book of Rarities , " by Bro . Edward Roberts P . M .

Masonic Sonnets, No. 98.

Masonic Sonnets , No . 98 .

BY BBO . CHAS . F . FOBSHAW , LL . D ., 295 and 2417 ( E . C . ) Hon . Mem . 1242 ( E . C . ) and 24 ( S . C ) . — : o : — IN MEMORIAM .

Bro . Prof . R . B . Winder , M . D ., D . D . S . Dean of the Baltimore College of Dental Surgery . Born 17 th July 1828 , Died 18 th July 1894 . — : o : — AND hast thy spirit soared beyond the blue—Thy staunch , brave heart for ever ceased to beat ? Alas ! 'Tis so , but Heaven's Divinest hue

Shines with all glory on thy life complete ! Yet why lament an earthly winding sheet ? It is the last frail garment of fche dead ;

And now thou walkest with no earthly feet In that glad realm where holiest angels tread I 0 Brother mine , my heart is sore to-day—With loving grip I fain would clasp thy hand ;

But lo ! Thou hsteth with no worldly clay Thrice thrilling thought , to know and understand The Signs and Passwovds of the far away A sure admittance to the Promised Land . Winder House , Bradford , 30 th July 1894 .

“The Freemason's Chronicle: 1894-08-04, Page 8” Masonic Periodicals Online, Library and Museum of Freemasonry, 16 Aug. 2025, django:8000/periodicals/fcn/issues/fcn_04081894/page/8/.
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MASONIC EXPENDITURE. Article 1
CONSECRATION: CITY, NO. 2514. Article 1
HISTORY: LODGE OF HARMONY, No. 298. Article 2
SURREY. Article 2
MARK MASONRY. Article 3
DORSETSHIRE. Article 3
CHURCH SERVICE. Article 3
MASONIC BANQUETING. Article 4
MASONIC SACRILEGE. Article 5
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SUPREME GRAND CHAPTER. Article 7
BREVITY. Article 8
Masonic Sonnets, No. 98. Article 8
REPORTS OF MEETINGS. Article 9
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NEXT WEEK. Article 12
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.

Brevity.

BREVITY .

ri ^ HE voluble Irishman who had wearied his audience with a JL speech so long as to reach from Dan to Becrsheba , and who criticised a growing iualtcutiou by exclaiming , " Ye pay no more regard than if I was a dumb baste talking to ye ' . " was evidently unacquainted with that form of rhetoric which is used to express terseness or conciseness in speaking and writing , known to grammarians by the term btachylogy .

Only a few weeks ago , Mr . Justice Hawkins , who was hearing a case in the Queen's Bench Divisiou , reproved a witness as follows J' You seem very fond of talking . Let me tell you that time here is very valuable , and while you are talking it costs about half-acrown every minute . Somebody will havo to pay for it . "

Liwaug , an ancient Emperor of China once issued an edict lorbiddiug all conversation , even whispering in his dominions . No doubt he had beeu bothered with , and had grown weary of the fads aud crochets of those surrounding him , for probably in those days there were men who were troubled with " caccethesloquendi . '' Like Sfc . Sebald , who , for want of wood kept his fire going with icicles , so some never tire in their persistency . When we meet with their opposites the fact is worthy of recording .

The late Count Von Moltke has been described as the man who could be silent in seven languages , and ifc is somewhere said of Lord Beaconsfield , that he was a quiet but observant man in private circles who usually talked very little , bufc when he did , talked a very great deal .

Obtaining a Benefice . —Louis the XIV ., who disliked a prosy style , met on the road , as he was travelling into the country , a priest who was riding post ; and ordering him to stop , asked hastily , " Whence come you ? Where are you going ? What do you want ? "

The other , who well knew the king ' s disposition , instantly replied " From Bruges—To Paris—A Benefice ! " " You shall have it , " replied the king , and in a few days presented him with a valuable living . The above story has also been attributed to Henry the Fourth .

Sign . —A young Officer , serving in the army of Napoleon I ., had conceived au idea that his promotion was being retarded , and on a certain occasion intercepted the Emperor with the expression , " One word , sire ! " Tho Emperor gave a surprised look at the Officer , and after a moment's hesitation replied : " You shall have

it , but more than one word will subject you to instant punishment . " Tho Officer quickly produced some documents of an official character , and holding them before his Imperial master , said , " Sign ! " The Emperor immediately took the hint , and attached his signature , to the great joy of fche young Officer .

Down with your Dust . —There is a story told of Dean Swift , * which is thoroughly charactisfcic of thafc eccentric divine . After reading his text for a charity sermon , "He who giveth to the poor lendeth to the Lord , " tho Dean concluded his exhortation with the ono phrase , " There my Brethren , if you are satisfied with the security , down with your dust 1 "

An Actors Brusqueric—In 1748 , Quui , who had long been thc flespot of the English stage , finding that David Garrick was rising into popular estimation , and that the old school of actors was being superseded by the new , retired to Bath in disgust , and thus wrote to Rich , the creator of pantomimes : — "I am at Bath . Yours , James Quin . " To which tho other laconically replied : — " Stay there , and be d—d . Yours , John Rich . "

A Retort Discourteous . —Boswell onco addressed this query fco his friend Dr . Johnson : — " What would you do if you were shut up alone in a tower with a baby ? " To which the famous lexicographer retorted in language equally as curt , " Sir , you are an idiot 1 "

A reminder . —In the early part of the present century lived Lord Norbury , a brow-beafcing judge , who was notorious by reason of his extreme relish for capital conviction . He resided in the neighbourhood of Finglas , near Dublin , and his lands adjoined Dean Lindsay ' s . According to the " Dublin Freeman " ( November . 1827 ) , " the cattle belonging to the Judge had on one occasion trespassed upon the land of the Dean , and the latter invoked the

aid of the parish appraiser , who , under the recent Trespass Act , valued the amount of damage . Bufc it appears thafc the cattle of the Dean had some short time before got on to the Judge ' sland , and when the latter heard of the action which his neighbour had taken in the matter , sf-nt the Dean the following laconic letter : — " Dear Dean , —Forgive us our trespasses , as we forgive them who trespass against us . —Yours , Norbury ? "

Clerical Laconics .-A young member of the stanhope family wishing to be ordained , secured the interest of the Duke of York , who was also Bishop of Osnaburgh , and the latter put himself in communication with the Bishop of Cork , having in view tho advancement of his young friend and relative Stanhope . The following laconics passed between the two prelates : — " Dear Cork . —Ordain Stanhope . —Yours , York . " "Dear York . —Stanhope ' s ordained . —Yours , Cork . "

Disposing of ifc . —In his letter to the Duke of Leinster , acknowledging the receipt of a petition to his majesty , King William the Fourth , from certain Roman Catholics in Ireland , praying for Emancipation , the Duke of Wellington , then Prime Minister , thus laconically and suporcilliously wrote to his lordship : — "My Lord Duke , —I have the honour of receiving fche petition you forwarded to me , along with the tin case which enclosed ifc . I am , my Lord Duke , Your Grace ' s most obedient servant , Wellington . "

Soldiers' Prayers . —In 1715 , at a dinner given by the Duke of Ormond at Richmond , there were present among others Lords Marr , Jersey , Lansdown , and Atterbury , Bishop of Rochester . A dispute arose regarding shorfc prayers , when Sir William Wyndham , a guest , said thafc fche shortest prayer he had ever heard was that of a soldier , just before the battle of Blenheim : — " 0 God , if there be a God , save my soul , if I have a soul 1 "

Brevity.

The Bishop replied , ' Your prayer , Sir William , is indeed short , bufc I remember another as short , but a much better , offered up likewise by a soldier , under similar circumstances : — ' 0 God , if in the day of battle I forget Thee , do Thou not forget me !'" All to himself . —Mr . Payne Collier , in his notes , gives the following story of the author of " Christobel , " and " Aids to Reflection : " — " As Coleridge ( S . T . ) is a man of genius and knowledge , he seems

glad of opportunities of display ; being a good talker , he likes to get hold of a good listener ; he admits it , and told us the anecdote of some very talkative Frenchman , introduced to a dumb lady , who , however , politely appeared to hear all her locquacious visitor said . When this visitor afterwards met the friend who had introduced him , he expressed his obligation to thafc friend for bringing him acquainted with so agreeable and intelligent a woman , and was astonished and chagrined when told that she was dumb ! "

Quid pro Quo . —A critic , who happened to be a personal friend of David Roberts , the architectural painter , once found it necessary to write a very severe article upon some pictures of his , just exhibited . By way of soothing the man whom he had attacked , the critic indited the following letter , which he forwarded , — " My dear

Roberts , —You may have seen my remarks on your pictures ; I hopo they will make no difference in our friendship . —Yours , — & e ., — . " The reply of the painter was equally as laconic . " My dear — , The next time I meet you I shall pull your nose ; I hope it will make no difference in our friendship . —Yours , & c ., D . Roberts . "

Brief Despatches . —When Sir Colin Campbell obtained possession of Lucknow , during tho Indian Mutiny , he is reported to have telegraphed the information to headquarters briefly thus " I am in hick now . " Sir Charles Napier , on the capture of Scinde , announced his success in an equally laconic and witty manner . His entire message consisted of the word ' Peccavi" ( I have sinned ) .

A suggestive Gift . —A widower whom we knew had made up his mind to plunge again into matrimony , and wrote to a friend apprising him of the fact . The latter , who was evidently of Dr . Johnson's opinion that a second marriage was " the triumph of hope over experience , " replied to the communication by forwarding as a werlding present , without comment of any description , a copy of Milton ' s " Paradise Lost . "

A Shoemaker ' s Bill . — For conciseness in style , the following bill , which was tendered to a gentleman in Kent , will bear comparison with anything of its kind which we have seen .

" Squire D , Dr . to S—W , Shoemaker .

1821 Dec . 26 Clogg'd up Miss , lOd , mended up Miss , 2 d 10 1822 Jan . 3 rd Toe capped Master , lid , turned up , clogged up and mended tho Maid , ls 6 d 2 5 „ „ Heel tap't Master 3 „ 7 Lined , bound up , put a piece on Madam 4 0 „ „ Stitching up Miss Kitty 6

„ 12 Soloing the Maid 6 d , tapping Madam , 6 d 10 „ „ Putting a piece on Madam 2 Total 9 4 "

A bill , framed upon somewhat similar lines , was once presented fco a reverend gentleman as follows : — " The Rev . C . Marriott ,

To John Knapp , of Cofcesbach . To one wheelbarrow and a wooden do 5 s To one wheelbarrow and a wood do 5 s

5 s " The explanation is found in the fact that fche first wheelbarrow was defective , and " a " ( he ) would not do , bufc that fche second one was all right , and would do . " Book of Rarities , " by Bro . Edward Roberts P . M .

Masonic Sonnets, No. 98.

Masonic Sonnets , No . 98 .

BY BBO . CHAS . F . FOBSHAW , LL . D ., 295 and 2417 ( E . C . ) Hon . Mem . 1242 ( E . C . ) and 24 ( S . C ) . — : o : — IN MEMORIAM .

Bro . Prof . R . B . Winder , M . D ., D . D . S . Dean of the Baltimore College of Dental Surgery . Born 17 th July 1828 , Died 18 th July 1894 . — : o : — AND hast thy spirit soared beyond the blue—Thy staunch , brave heart for ever ceased to beat ? Alas ! 'Tis so , but Heaven's Divinest hue

Shines with all glory on thy life complete ! Yet why lament an earthly winding sheet ? It is the last frail garment of fche dead ;

And now thou walkest with no earthly feet In that glad realm where holiest angels tread I 0 Brother mine , my heart is sore to-day—With loving grip I fain would clasp thy hand ;

But lo ! Thou hsteth with no worldly clay Thrice thrilling thought , to know and understand The Signs and Passwovds of the far away A sure admittance to the Promised Land . Winder House , Bradford , 30 th July 1894 .

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