The Humours Of Advertising.

in the early part of the present century : — " I , Aohen , Chinaman , native of Pekin , return his thank to de religious of . most worships in Bengal , since his first begin business . He now have to acquaint de worshipers of Idols , that his son Aloo Achen have arrived after his study of Sculpture in Italy and London ; he have brought wid him many blocks of that beautiful stellated granite from Kilkenny , he have also brought out a Mr . Bacon ' s Pentagraph , by wioh we am now able to reduce to de smallest size any favourite Idol for

domestic worship and in portable compass ( exactly resembling de _ original ) for religious travellers by sea or land . We have one . blocks of dis imperishable marble weighing Three Tons , beautifully variegated , dis I proposes as de basis of a durable Idol , to supercede de perishoble wooden figure of Juggernauth ; I with my son hav nearly completed de Idol , we have left one opening bshind in de body , to contain de dust of de first inventor and de bones leaved

of de carver in Wood , we have at She lower extremity of de body room to introduce ( from two oval reservoirs of mercury ) Tubes up to de corner of each eye close to de nose , dese filled wid water , de mercury below pressed by de warm hands of de priest , will causo de Idol to shed tears at any time , or any festival , like Peter de Great ' s Virgin on Good Friday . We have left a cavity in de mouth , detween de teeth for phosphorous light ; also , in each eye of de Idol to illuminate de enamel and glass pupils in front .

We make figures of any incantations , Bulls for Egyptian worship of de same beautiful Irish marble , Boars , Tortoises , Hawks , Sphinx , Lion . Any person inclined to employ me and son , will be sending a plan or likeness of de favourite Deity , be certain of having it exactly executed to order . Should de Wood , or Clay of any favourite family Idol , be rapidly in decay We engage to restore de Deity to his original form , in imperishable materials ( and if required ) improved in de most graceful and natural proportions .

Orders directed to Achen and Son , Sculptors , Penang , will be thankfully received and promptly attended to . " The superscription over one shop in Allahabad , India , was " Ihman Bucks & Co ., Merchants and sodawater , " while over another was the startling announcement : — " Mooka Sing & Co ., Merchants . Customers sending orders will be promptly executed . " This is a Yankee advertisement which some years back went the round

The Humours Of Advertising.

of all the papers : — " If you want a real fine unsophisticated family pill , try Dr . Rumbolt ' s liver-encouraging , kidney-persuading , silent perambulator , twenty-seven in a box . This pill is as mild as a pet-lamb , and as searching as a small-tooth comb . It don't go fooling about , but attends strictly to business , and is as certain for the middle of the night as an alarm clock . " Then follow some lines in Latin doggrel .

A smart piece of advertising was performed by Mabley , the noted American tailor , on the occasion of Jenny Lind ' s first appearance in New York . The individual in question presented himself first at the ticket window of the theatre the morning the box plan opened , and casually asked what the clerk would take for the entire house . The prices of all the seats in the building were rapidly totted up , and the amount announced was equal to

nearly two thousand pounds . Mabley thereupon purchased the lot , and every intending first-nighter was compelled to go to his little clothing-shop during the next few days to negotiate with him . The arrangement made was to present a ticket to every purchaser of even the most trifling article on sale . The advertisement made his business , for he was more talked about than the songstress herself .

A Chicago merchant , once humourously expatiating upon the benefits of advertising , said that he caused to be inserted in a newspaper the advertisement , " a boy wanted , " and before an hour had elapsed a messenger arrived at his store , with the information that his wife had twin boys . A Boston chemist advertised thus : — " The gentleman who left his stomach for analysis , will please call and get it , together with the result . "

" Ran away—a nigger named John ; his nose turned up five feet eight inches high , and had on a pair of corduroy pants much worn , " was an advertisement which once appeared in an American paper , and in another a Texas farmer advertised for " an industrious man to take charge of fivethousand sheep who could talk Spanish . " ( To be continued ) . " Book of Rarities , " by Bro . Edward Roberts P . M .

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BOOKBINDING in all its branches . Prices on application . Morgan , " Freemason ' s Chronicle " Office , New Barnet .

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BROWN AND J ONES : "Steady there with the PATTISONS ' , old chap ! " ROBINSON : " All right , there ' s plenty for all of us , and not a headache in the whole bottle , "

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At a Bound Pattlsons' Whisky has come to the front , and is now in General Use as the Glass of Fashion , being recognised Here , There ^ and Everywhere , as Scotland ' s Best .