The Humours Of Advertising.

The next , from the " Mercurius Politicus , * ' Sept . 30 , 1658 , is said to be the first announcement of the sale of tea in England . " That Excellent and by all Physitians approved China Drink called by the Chineans Tcha , and by other nations Tay alias Tee is sold at the Sultaness Head Cophee-House , in Sweetings Bents , by the Boyal Exchange , London . " " Any Ladies who havo any particular stories of their acquaintance which they are willing privately to make public , may send ' em by the penny post * tr > Isaac Bickerstafte , Esq ., f enclosed to Mr . John Morphew , near Stationers' Hall . " " Tatler , " May 8 , 1709 .

In a remarkable pamphlet , " A Modest Attempt to prove Dr . Hare not the author of the Bouchian Dialogue , " ( London , 1712 ) appear the following advertisements of " choice books now in the press , "—announced to be delivered to subscribers at the several coffee-houses appointed to take in subscriptions : — No . 1 . A Choice Collection , of Lies first invented about the time of the Dissolution of the last Parliament , collected by Sir Gil H . N . B .

Several of these Lies have bee' / 'of excellent use in foreign parts , and are to be had at a reasonable rate , at Messieurs J . P . and W . H . booksellers at the Hague . No . VI . A full Proof that the Words Villian , Infamous Libeller , Bascally Prostitute , Notorious Lyar , with several other Words never yet made use of . By a true and modest Divine : But may bo us'd by way of confuting a difficult Argument ; and are only to be found in the Works of one Dr . Francis H no Doctor of Physick nor Law .

No . IX . A new Trip to the Moon , with an Account of several Curiosities never yet observ'd by Travellers to that Place . By William W n , M . A . and dedicated to the Upper House of C n . No . XII . New Brooms better then Old ; to be proved from an Observation that less Dirt and not so many venomous Creatures are now to be found in the several Palaces which belong to Her M y as formerly .

In the " Daily Advertiser" of June 27 , 1752 , a penny wedding was advertised to be kept at a place of entertainment called Lambeth Wells , Lambeth . It was to be after the Scotch manner , and for the benefit of a young couple . Another place of entertainment in Lambeth was originally the garden of Thomas Howard , Earl of Arundel ( circa 1636 ) . The premises were

afterwards rented by one Cuper , who had been the Earl's gardener , and from him obtained the name of Ouper ' s Gardens . They were opened as a place for public diversion , with music , fireworks , & c , about the middle of the last century , and were well frequented , being ( according to the " Daily Advertiser " of Aug . 29 , 1745 ) occasionally honoured with the presence of , the Prince and Princess of Wales . The gardens were subsequently kept by a widow , whose name was Evans . Here is one of her whimsical advertisements : —

" Cuper ' s Gardens . This is to acquaint Ladies and Gentlemen , that this night will be burnt the Gorgon's head , or more properly , the head of Medusa , in history said to have snakes on her hair , and to kill men by her looks , such a thing as was never know to he done in England before . " The following handbill was once in circulation : — " Sturtevant , Surgeon ,

Apothecary , and Man-Midwife , at Brigg , in Lincolnshire , Has just entered upon the House , lately in the Occupation of Mi . Atkinson , and hopes by a diligent and faithful Discharge of the several Duties of his Profession , to merit the Encouragement of the Public . N . B . —Drugs sold wholesale , and retail upon the most reasonable terms . Oct . 25 , 1777 . Brigg , Printed by S . Scott . "

This is from the " Hull Advertiser , " Aug . 8 , 1795 : — " Guild-hall , Kingston-upon-Hull , August 7 , 1795 . Wanted by the Corporation of this Town , a proper person for the office of Town ' s Husband . -j : or Common Officer . He must be well acquainted with accompts , capable of drawing Plans and Estimates for Buildings , and accustomed to inspect the Workmanship of Mechanics . " The young lady mentioned in the following advertisement was evidently anxious to emulate the Japanese , who have a penchant for adorning their houses with used postage stamps : —

" Postage Stamps . A young lady , being desirous of covering her dressingroom with cancelled Postage Stamps , has been so far encouraged in her wish by private friends as to have succeeded in collecting 16 , 000 1 these , however , being insufficient , she will be greatly obliged if any good natured persons who may have these ( otherwise useless ) little articles at their disposal would assist in her whimsical project . " " Times , " 1841 .

The next appeared in the " Manchester Evening News , ' March 1 , 1898 , and is only eclipsed by that of the publican who advertised for " a barman well up in politics and religion . " " Youth , smart , trustworthy , Wanted , to look after two horses , and play piano in evenings ; must be used to horses ; good home . Particulars , Boyal Oak Hotel , Chapel-en-le-Frith . " Advertisements relating to matrimony often furnish an abundance of

humour , but I fancy there was not much cause for jubilation at the wedding advertised in the " Monthly Mirror , " June 1800 . " Married . At Llangefui , Mr . H . Cecson , to Miss Lucy Fencoch ( the rich heiress of the late J . Hughs , Esq ., of Bowgwddau-hall ) , a lady of much beauty , but deaf and dumb ; who , on the evening of the marriage , slipped , in going down stairs , and fell with such violence against a chair , that her head was nearly severed from her body , and she instantly expiree . "

This is a newspaper advertisement of 1781 . " The Eev . Mr . Roger Staines , of York , twenty-six years of age , to a Lincolnshire lady , upwards of eighty years of age , with whom he is to have £ 8 , 000 , and £ 300 a year , and a coaeh-andfour during life only . " The following is from the " Oxford Magazine " ( July 1770 ) " Wanted a middle-aged woman , as a partner for life ; she must have some little

dependence of her own , and be a sober christian woman , if a meetener or methodist the more agreeable . Neither the gay nor handsome , nor dress and showey woman is herein meant , nor will be regarded , but rather one whose beauty is holiness , adorned with christian virtues , as shall appear so upon enquiry . The person who puts in this advertisement is necessitated for a help-mate directly , and is settled in good business near London , having a

The Humours Of Advertising.

dependence besides , and free of all incumbrances , with character and other particulars answerable to the strictest enquiry ; and his close confinement in business is the only motive for thus applying . " . . . A man wanting a wife , thus advertises in " Bell's Weekly Messenger , " May 28 , 1797 . " Matthew Dawson , in Bofchwell , Cumberland , intends to be married at Holm Church , on the Thursday before Whitsuntide next , whenever that may happen , and return to Bothwell to dine . Mr . Beid give as turkey to be roasted ; Ed . Clemenson gives a fat lamb to bo roasted ; William

Elliott givas a hen to be roasted ; John Gibson gives a fat calf to be roasted . And in order that all this roast meat may be well basted , do you see , Mary-Pearson , Betty Hodgson , Mary Bushley , Molly Fisher , Sarah Briscoe , and Betty Porthouse give each of them a pound of butter . The advertiser will provide everything else for so festive an occasion . And he hereby gives notice to all young women desirous of changing their condition that he is at present disengaged , and advises them to consider that although there be luck in leisure , yet in this case delays aire dangerous , for , -with him , he ia determined it shall be first come first served .

So come along lasses who wish to be married ; Mat Dawson is vexed that so long he haa tarried . " A well-known farmer in Kentucky advertised for a wife as follows : — "To the girls between the ages of 16 aud 21 , whom it may concern , be it known : That I , Jarvis Pinner , whose post-office address is Pigeon Boost , Clay county , Ky ., being of sound mind and capable of contracting and being contracted with , and possessed with an elegant farm of 150 acres , with an orchard of 300 bearing apple trees , and stocked with the latest improved Poland China hogs ,

and Spanish chickens , together with all necessary comforts of life , but , like Adam with an Eden , no helpmate , do hereby promise to will to any young woman of the ages referred to , who will be an Eve to me and share the comforts and joys of my home and fortune , all the realty and personal effects , and promise to be to her a kind and loving husband . But it is understood that no girl who is named Susie need apply . The girl in order fco be accepted must be of good family and character , good form , and pretty face . No pug-nosed or oross-eyed woman need apply . This is a rare opportunity . "

More recently a lady advertises her desire to obtain a husband " with a Boman nose having strong religious tendencies , " while a French gentleman advertiser seeks a young lady or widow with a very queer endowment , namely " without encumbrance of means and education . "

The lady who thus alphabetically advertised her qualifications in " The Times " must indeed have been a charming specimen of womankind . " To Widowers and Single Gentlemen . Wanted by a lady , a situation to superintend the household and preside at table . She is agreeable , becoming , careful , desirable , English , facetious , generous , honest , industrious , judicious , keen , lively , merry , natty , obedient , philosophic , quiet , regular , sociable , tasteful ; useful , vivacious , womanish , xantippish , youthful , zealous , & c . "

The following advertisement , taken from a Border newspaper ( June 9 , 1871 ) , is curious by reason of the recurrence of the words " Black " and " Steward . " "At Blackburn , on the 2 nd inst ., Christina , eldest daughter of Mr . William Black , farm-steward , to William Stewart , farm * steward , Blackerstoh . " ( To be continued ) ; "Book of Barities , " by Bro . Edward Roberts P . M .

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