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Article ESSAY ON POLITENESS. ← Page 2 of 3 →
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Essay On Politeness.
rally displayed his superiority by the appropriation of a few delicacies to himself—by attending- more , in fact , to his own person than to his visitors . These distinctions must have marred the pleasures of society , by a forbidding ceremoniousness . The entertainer must have shewn a selfishness contrary , to every idea of courtesy ; and those of his guestswhose comparative pretensions were dubious
, , must have been often disconcerted or piqued by the invidiousness of such a discriminating manner . Of this behaviour wediave several instances on record . The Earl of Northumberland ' s household book " , begun in 1512 , will furnish us with a curious example of it . From this book , we see that ' my Lord ' s board-end , where the principal visitors had their places assigned them , was served with more
delicate viands than the lower end of the table , where the inferior guests were seated . A large salt-seller was fixed in the middle of the table , to mark this unsocial distinction . Above the salt-sellers , sat my Lord and his principal guests ; below it , the inferior ones , in due gradation . There was a Plighland Chief , not long ago , who used to discriminate in the same manner between his visitors . They were al- "
lowed to partake of what dishes they pleased ; but had wines of a different quality set before them . No wine , indeed , appeared at the bottom of the table , which was furnished only with the common beverage of the country . Now , all thisis so inconsistent with the rules of genuine politeness , ' though agreeable to the manners of cur forefathers , that , one should
imagine , the more enlightened among them would hardly have submitted to be hampered by such absurdities . At any period , a complaisant man would be rather more attentive to his inferiors than to others ; in order to remove from their minds , as much as possible , all abject , ideas of their station , or notions of invidious comparison , ' and to introduce general ease and complacency . Accordingly , we shall find that such men often behave politelyin opposition " to the
, fashionable rules of behaviour . Sir Francis Bacon , who lived in the midst of these formal times , was remarkably tender with respect to the little social attentions . The regard due to ourselves and to others , is a point on which he frequently insists . ' I knew one , ' he quaintly says , ' who used to say in scorn ^ - " He must needs be a a wise man—bespeaks so much of himself . " ' Speeches of scorn
towards others must be sparingly used . I knew two Noblemen of the West of England , whereof the one was given to scoff , but kept ever royal cheer iu his house . The other would ask of those who had been at the other ' s table , " tell truly , was there never a flout , or dry blow given ? " To which the guest would answer , " Such or such a thing passed / ' The Lord would say , " I thought he would marr a
good dinner . " To speak agreeably to him with whom we deal , is more than to speak in gootl words , or good order . ' In another place he inveighs against the stiff ceremoniousness of his times ; and observes that , if we make any distinctions , it is good to keep a little state among a man ' s peers ; hut among a man ' s inferiors it is good to be a little familiar . It is remarkable , that the Romans , even at their most refined -era , behaved pretty nearly like our forefathers . To discriminate between
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
Essay On Politeness.
rally displayed his superiority by the appropriation of a few delicacies to himself—by attending- more , in fact , to his own person than to his visitors . These distinctions must have marred the pleasures of society , by a forbidding ceremoniousness . The entertainer must have shewn a selfishness contrary , to every idea of courtesy ; and those of his guestswhose comparative pretensions were dubious
, , must have been often disconcerted or piqued by the invidiousness of such a discriminating manner . Of this behaviour wediave several instances on record . The Earl of Northumberland ' s household book " , begun in 1512 , will furnish us with a curious example of it . From this book , we see that ' my Lord ' s board-end , where the principal visitors had their places assigned them , was served with more
delicate viands than the lower end of the table , where the inferior guests were seated . A large salt-seller was fixed in the middle of the table , to mark this unsocial distinction . Above the salt-sellers , sat my Lord and his principal guests ; below it , the inferior ones , in due gradation . There was a Plighland Chief , not long ago , who used to discriminate in the same manner between his visitors . They were al- "
lowed to partake of what dishes they pleased ; but had wines of a different quality set before them . No wine , indeed , appeared at the bottom of the table , which was furnished only with the common beverage of the country . Now , all thisis so inconsistent with the rules of genuine politeness , ' though agreeable to the manners of cur forefathers , that , one should
imagine , the more enlightened among them would hardly have submitted to be hampered by such absurdities . At any period , a complaisant man would be rather more attentive to his inferiors than to others ; in order to remove from their minds , as much as possible , all abject , ideas of their station , or notions of invidious comparison , ' and to introduce general ease and complacency . Accordingly , we shall find that such men often behave politelyin opposition " to the
, fashionable rules of behaviour . Sir Francis Bacon , who lived in the midst of these formal times , was remarkably tender with respect to the little social attentions . The regard due to ourselves and to others , is a point on which he frequently insists . ' I knew one , ' he quaintly says , ' who used to say in scorn ^ - " He must needs be a a wise man—bespeaks so much of himself . " ' Speeches of scorn
towards others must be sparingly used . I knew two Noblemen of the West of England , whereof the one was given to scoff , but kept ever royal cheer iu his house . The other would ask of those who had been at the other ' s table , " tell truly , was there never a flout , or dry blow given ? " To which the guest would answer , " Such or such a thing passed / ' The Lord would say , " I thought he would marr a
good dinner . " To speak agreeably to him with whom we deal , is more than to speak in gootl words , or good order . ' In another place he inveighs against the stiff ceremoniousness of his times ; and observes that , if we make any distinctions , it is good to keep a little state among a man ' s peers ; hut among a man ' s inferiors it is good to be a little familiar . It is remarkable , that the Romans , even at their most refined -era , behaved pretty nearly like our forefathers . To discriminate between