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Article HOW ALFRED TIPTOP WON THE PRIZE POEM ← Page 9 of 12 →
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
How Alfred Tiptop Won The Prize Poem
rest ! Avhen that stream is marbled , so to say , Avith the brightest porphyry of muslin-clad young ladies , or Avith the sky-emulating hues of shot silk : —at rest ! Avhen human heads defy you to count the panes in the Avindows—when even the cats are scared from the house-tops—and Avhen the A ^ ery colleges seem to have turned their population forth to pick up an at fresco living for themselves .
At rest ! did you say ! I only ask , have you been into a single college kitchen ? Have you inquired into the feelings of any letter of "lodgings" for the last fortnight ? Do you know that Dickson and Trafalgar , the publishers , Avho are to publish the " Newdegate" and the " English Essay , " haA'e been , as usual , in agonies with the printer for the last four , days ; and
that , even now at the eleventh hour , the binder is a defalcator ? At rest ! indeed . I ask you , Mr . President de Beauchamp , are you not tired of being well nigh turned out of your own house ? And was not that last unexpected triplet of cousins from Derbyshire a heavy pack upon the well-laden camel ? But Mrs . de Beauchamp takes it in excellent part ; the dinner Avill be a
success ; and the cheerful old president , Avho never Avill be persuaded that a cough is anything more than a slight hoarseness , and who still retains a magnanimous contempt for claret , will tell his favourite anecdotes about Ehnsley and Dr . Parr with as much relish as eA er . At rest ! Just step into Le Grand ' s ; multiply the square
feet contained in the area of the dining-rooms by the company who are to dine , lunch , and sup ; and tell me about Ten Hours ' bills after that . What becomes of the Avaiters ? Do they melt away , or are they merely reduced to skeletons , and sent aAvay to be re-fleshed during the long vacation ? Step into Spiers and Sons' , and wonder IIOAV it will be possible to find eA en an army razor . Aud yet nobody looks flurried , and you Avill get whatever you Avant , from Dorothea in Parian doAvn to a knife-cleaning machine .
Breakfast is over ; fish , flesh , and foAid , have gone long ago , unde negant redire quemquam ; and parties from all directions are streaming towards the theatre . We cannot help Sir Christopher Wren ' s taste , and as he built St . Paul ' s dome , we will not stand still to abuse him—even if the mob Avould give us time . As yet there is no very serious row . To be suresome
, windows are broken by a few half-stifled undergraduates , Avith the view of oxygenizing the plus quam caloricized atmosphere of a staircase , in which men are piled upon one another something like the victims to be burnt within an ancient Briton idol of Avicker-Avork . One man faints , and another couple nearly faint
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
How Alfred Tiptop Won The Prize Poem
rest ! Avhen that stream is marbled , so to say , Avith the brightest porphyry of muslin-clad young ladies , or Avith the sky-emulating hues of shot silk : —at rest ! Avhen human heads defy you to count the panes in the Avindows—when even the cats are scared from the house-tops—and Avhen the A ^ ery colleges seem to have turned their population forth to pick up an at fresco living for themselves .
At rest ! did you say ! I only ask , have you been into a single college kitchen ? Have you inquired into the feelings of any letter of "lodgings" for the last fortnight ? Do you know that Dickson and Trafalgar , the publishers , Avho are to publish the " Newdegate" and the " English Essay , " haA'e been , as usual , in agonies with the printer for the last four , days ; and
that , even now at the eleventh hour , the binder is a defalcator ? At rest ! indeed . I ask you , Mr . President de Beauchamp , are you not tired of being well nigh turned out of your own house ? And was not that last unexpected triplet of cousins from Derbyshire a heavy pack upon the well-laden camel ? But Mrs . de Beauchamp takes it in excellent part ; the dinner Avill be a
success ; and the cheerful old president , Avho never Avill be persuaded that a cough is anything more than a slight hoarseness , and who still retains a magnanimous contempt for claret , will tell his favourite anecdotes about Ehnsley and Dr . Parr with as much relish as eA er . At rest ! Just step into Le Grand ' s ; multiply the square
feet contained in the area of the dining-rooms by the company who are to dine , lunch , and sup ; and tell me about Ten Hours ' bills after that . What becomes of the Avaiters ? Do they melt away , or are they merely reduced to skeletons , and sent aAvay to be re-fleshed during the long vacation ? Step into Spiers and Sons' , and wonder IIOAV it will be possible to find eA en an army razor . Aud yet nobody looks flurried , and you Avill get whatever you Avant , from Dorothea in Parian doAvn to a knife-cleaning machine .
Breakfast is over ; fish , flesh , and foAid , have gone long ago , unde negant redire quemquam ; and parties from all directions are streaming towards the theatre . We cannot help Sir Christopher Wren ' s taste , and as he built St . Paul ' s dome , we will not stand still to abuse him—even if the mob Avould give us time . As yet there is no very serious row . To be suresome
, windows are broken by a few half-stifled undergraduates , Avith the view of oxygenizing the plus quam caloricized atmosphere of a staircase , in which men are piled upon one another something like the victims to be burnt within an ancient Briton idol of Avicker-Avork . One man faints , and another couple nearly faint