Two Old Men.

II . EDAVILX AND ANGELINA . This wicked Avorld of ours AA-as older b y tAvo AA'eeks . And a pair of happy lovers sat in the chambers ofEdivin Upshall , Esquire , Barrister-at-Law , nephew and heir to Upshall , the bachelor banker . And she , with her pretty face and kindly expression , was the daughter of Mr . Betterton , widower and laAvyer .

Personally , I think it by no moans the correct thing that engaged young people should meet alone in the chambers of the male party to the contract . EdAvin , hoAvever , had taken Angelina to the Crysanthcinilin SIIOAV in the Temnlc Gardens , and it was not unnatural

that after that exhausting ceremony Angelina should stand in need of refreshment . If to the tea and cake Edwin had added pine-apple and grapes and a bottle of Pommery , of the incomparable vintage of 1880 , ifc was merely a political way of expressing his esteem for the object of his affections .

MoreoA-er , and fco draAv any suspicion of impropriety , ifc may be added that the meeting had tlie sanction of Angelina ' s father , who is , indeed , at this moment on his way to join them . " What a horrid monster your uncle must be to hate me , " suggested Angelina . " He doesn't hate you in particular—only women in general , " replied Edwin .

But these nice distinctions bring no consolation to a woman who cannot see any practical advantage in being hated generally instead of particularly . " However , when he meets your good father and sees you , I am confident he Avill surrender at discretion . "

" But suppose he won't ? " " Well , then , darling , AVC must marry Avithout his consent , and submit to the inconvenience of being cut off Avith a shilling . " " And cutoff in the prime of life , too , " said Angelina . " Quite so , " sentcntiously ansAvercd Edwin . "But you hav ' n't yet told mcliOAV you induced the great monster to come here at all . "

"Nofc a very long story , " said Edwin , settling himself back in his chair , and looking ont into Fig Leaf Court across the shrubs on thc window sill , " at a restaurant the other ni ght another old gentleman insulted and assaulted my poor uncle . " " I suppose lie had provoked it . "

" It would seem not . His account is that lie was quietly reading his paper when a gentleman sitting opposite commenced mocking him . "

" Pulling faces at him , you mean ? " "Yes ; and laughing at him , " resumed the budding barrister , " so eventuall y he stood up and remonstrated , upon whicii the other man rushed at him like a mad bull , and knocked him down . " " HOAV terrible ! was he hurt—much i * "

"More frightened than hurt , I think . He has , however , determined to bring his assailant to justice . At fhe restaurant he has been unable to discover his name , and he is anxious to take good legal advice . " "Then why wouldn ' t he fake yours , Ted ? "

" I ' m afraid he doesn't believe much in my poor abilities . But when I mentioned the name of Betterton , the eminent Q . C , he seemed quite pleased , and agreed to meet him here . " " HOAV fortunate ! "

" Isn t it ? wads quite like a fairy tale . But I always did hold lhat it ' s in real life that the improbable most often occurs and not in the story books . " "HOAV clever you aw , my darling , " cried the admiring Angelina . Like most young men , Edwin had no objection to be called clever by the object of his affections , and WAvarded her in thc usual way . " It seems lhat 30 ycars ago your father led in a case for the firm of which my uncle AVUS a member , and saved them no end of

money . " Quite a coincidence . " "Let us hope it Avill turn out a happy one . "

" Amen to that SAvcet prayer . " Footsteps were heard ou the staircase—a knock at the door of fhe chambers , and in a minute Mr . Betterton wns within , saluting his daughter , shaking his head at the extravagance of an ' 80 ivine and English pineapples .

He was beaming over with good-will and ruddy Avith health , as he looked admiringl y at Angelina , in whom he saw all the graces of her dead mother perpetuated . "And HOAV , Ted , my boy , prepare mc for my interview with this terrible relative of yours . Is he "

Two Old Men.

Here ! ' exclaimed Edivin , as A'oices came from the staircasevoices raised in altercation " Get out of the AA-ay , you . infernal Irish baggage , " thundered well-known A oice .

" Me a baggage ! " comes in the shrill notes of an enraged female . " Me a baggage , ye dirty ould fossil . I'll baggage you . Take that —and that—said lhat . "

EdAvin rushed doAvn the stairs and was just in time to rescue his uncle from thc broomstick of an infuriated laundress , whose bloivs he Avas Avarding off as best he could with his umbrella , Avhich , like General Gordon ' s cane , was the only thing he carried with him into lotion .

" Calm yourself , Uncle dear , Mr . Bctterton ' s here with—with a lady . " " Then I don't budge an inch . Betterton I must see and consult . For I'll have the law of that bloodthirsty old baboon AVIIO struck mc at Beak ' s . And I'll have a summons against that murdering old Irishwoman at the same time . "

What better time than the present ? Mr . Betterton cannot be expected to make appointments Avhich are so capriciously broken . And as for the young lad y " " Yes ! well , what about the young lady ? "

" Why , she can retire while you consult with her father . " " Bah ! I hate ' em all—but particularly Irish bed-makers . " HoAvever , he consented to mount to his relative ' s chambers , and , somoAvhat dishevelled through his late encounter , folloived his nephew into the room , where stood Angelina and her father .

When Upshall . gazed at Betterton , he clutched his umbrella " Why , it ' s the man himself ! Betterton ! I can't advise Betterton to take an action against himself—can I ? " He seemed dazed—a circumstance attributable as much to the strangeness of thc present position as to thc recent affray on tho staircase .

Mr . Betterton , however , Avas equal to the occasion" Until the other ni ght , Mr . Upshall , I had not seen you for 30 years , nor do I knoAV HOAV IIOAV I contrived to offend you . " " Didn't you—didn't you grin at me ? " " Certainly not . I am told b y my friends that I have a sill y habit of laughing at my OAVH thoughts . I fear you caught mo in thc

act . " " But I called you names—you AVIIO once saved our firm , and —and . " "Well , Avell—you paid veiy handsomely for my services . Let bye-gones be bye-gones . Shake hands , Mr . Upshall . "

" You really forgive . " "Really and readily . " And thc tAvo old men shook hands heartily . The t-Avo young lovers had by this time approached each other , and Avero gazing upon the emotion of their seniors . Upshall , turning round , surprised them

thus" But what s all this ? A plot . A damn Jesuitical underhand p lot ! Mind you , Ted , it shan ' t be . If you do , I'll cut you off with a shilling . " " I trust , " said Mr . Betterton in those gentle , persuasive tones of Jiis which in the old times had been found so efficacious with a

jury , " that you -vvill do nothing of the kind . But should you do so , permit me , as an old barrister , to say that your nephew is sure to make his own way , and that when she docs marry she shall not go unprovided for . " " 1 suppose , Mr . Betterton , that I am as well able to provide for

my nephcAv as you for your child ? "No doubt , " said Betterton . " Begad , you shall see Avhethcr I can or not . Ted , you can marry . You'll regret it to your dying day . But I'll make it as easy for you to bear as possible . Introduce me . "

To see old Upshall ' s statel y bow , as he took the lady ' s hand and kissed the tips of her lingers , was au education in etiquette . " Madam , I wish you well , and never forget tlie information ' Avives , obey your husbands . ' " "I Avill love- my husband , sir , " said Angelina . " Bah ! " said Mr . Upshall .

Having done his dut y , he regained possession of his hat and umbrella , and requested his nephew to reconnoitre and bring back word whether the Irish baggage Avas still visible above the horizon . With a bow , including all present , and with his head carried well in thc air , hc departed . That night he turned up at Beak ' s , after a gallant act of blockaderunning , and drank a bottle to the health of the young couple .

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