The Last King Of Leinster.

" she's off her balance a bit wntl pride at huvin the King of Leinsther softsawdherin' her . " At lust he couldn ' t stand the smiliii' an' smirkin' of the pair of ' em anv lousier , so says lie aloud : "' Gilly , me darlin ' , isn ' t it near about time you allowed mt to ax His Majesty if lie have a mouth on him : ¦ ' " "Not a bad iclaya at all , " laughs the Kins / , turnin' round to the Prince :. " an ' to tell no lies , says he , dlirawiu' the back of his hand across his lips " I ' m us dhry as a limekiln this minute . "

" I ' m not sorry to hear you say so , " says the Prince . " for the roads are purty dustv this weather , an' 1 linrl the throat wants a chile of trargliiv '—Gilly , " says he . inouivtiu' the steps tm' spaykilt' to the wife who was fannin' herself wud a fan made out of payeocks' feathers—for it ' s a proud woman she was- " You might take u dive into the kitchen an' have a look at that pig ' s haul while nieself an ' the King are liioistenin' our eluvs in tho parlour . "

" Tiernan , says she , haughtily , drawin hersell up to her full hoighth , "J wish you'd thry and larn manners . The kitchen is not my place , nn * to talk to tnc in . tho presence of the King of Leinsther about a pig ' s head i . > nothing short of an insult . "

" ( Jw , wow , wow ! says the 1 mice , who was a rlacent snort ol a fellow wud no false pride in him . " Who tire we at . till , at all ? JIaybe ' twould be an insult to ax you to ate a bit of fat bacon an ' cabbage for dinner—an' glory be to Ilea von 'tis a tine appetite you have ! "

"Don ' t mind him , Princess O'Korke . niu ' uni , " says the King Mac . who wasn ' t at all sorry to see the husband an' wife quarrolliu' , " We'll luivc you for the present wud your kind permission , an' will join you in the coor > e of a half an hour in the throne-room . " An' then the oultl buck put his hand on his chest an ' bowed most elegantly to the Princess .

Well , some days went by , an there was plenty of aitin' an dhriiikin' an ' divarsion of all kinds goin' oh at the Palace in Jjref ' ncy ; an' however he managed it , ould King Hue . conihrived to start little family jars every now an' again between the Prince an' Princess , an' then he'd comfort the young woman himself , while tho husband would be sulkiu' in the back parlour , or out in the grounds or the stables .

For all his sixty years , an' his terrible voice , ihe King had some way of convarsin' wud faymales that won 'em over to him , just as if he wor on the sunny side of thirty . Besides his engagin' manner , of course , he was a king , and a king of some staudin ' , too , as royalty went in them days , tm' women folk are allways open to 'lattery when ' tis poured in at their ears by a monarch , no matter if his reputation is as black an' dirty as a jackdaw in a sooty chimblev .

There's no mistake , King Mae . was greatly stlniick by the elegant face an ' figure of the Princess , an' by her engagin' ways , an' ' tis hard to blame an ould man of sixty for havin' his head turned by the likes of her . "Gilly , me darlin ' , " says ho wan evenin '—for they wor on very friendly terms by this , nn' the husband was attendm' a Petty Sessions t ' oort in the next village , an' wasn't expected home till late at night— "Gilly , niv darlin ' , " says the ould vagabone , '' wouldn ' t von like to be an dut-an ' -out Queen Y "

"An' are you thinkin ot resignin in favour ot Tiernun ' . ' \_ snys she , fannin ' herself wud the payeocks' feathers . " llesignin' be blowed ! " says he . ' Now look here , young woman , you ' ve been laydin' me on for a long time , nn' we'd best understand nich other for wance an' all . Will , you throw the husband overboord nn' bolt wud me to Perns ? "

" What do yon take me for ? " says she . " I'm ready to take you for better or worse , " says he , going down on his knees , uud lookin' up at her . " You can ' t do that , " says she , ] " until Tiernan puts me through thc Coorts . "

" He'll do that fast enough if you bolt wud me , " says King Mac . " Air then I'll be free to make you Queen of Leinsther , which is more than O'Korke can do for you . " " I'm afeavd there 'ud be a terrible vow over it , " says she , wud a sigh . " What nmtther ! " says King Mae ., " if I ' m prepared to sthaiid the racket . 'Tisn't the first expayrience of this kind I ' ve had . " An' then he stopped dead short , for he knew he was afther putting his flit in it .

"Indeed ! " says she , tossing her head . "An' how many poor deludhered girls have you promised to raise to the throne of Leinsther V " "The devil a wan , barrin' yerself , I give you me word , " says he . "I ' ve decided to sow my wild oats now an' settlo down to a ipiiet domestic life , nn ' you ' re tho first wife of another man I ever offered tt sate on the throne to . Take the offer now , if you'll be said by me . I'll give you till to-morrow night to consider it . "

" 1 couldn ' t do it , " says she , rubbin her eyes wud her pocket hunkereher . "Faith you could , an' faith you will , me darlin' , " says he , "for ' tisn ' t every day that even a Priuecss in a small way like yerself—if I may say it wuilout offence—has the chance of becomin' Queen of a big disthrict lino mine . I'll be iiudher yer windy to-morrow night at nine o ' clock , an' I'll pluy some variations

The Last King Of Leinster.

on the Jew ' s harp for you , us a signal that I have a jauntiu car handy , an' am ready to dhrive on it wud you to the ends of tho earth . " " Don't ! " says she , " I couldn't stand a Jew ' s harp . " " Well , what would you say to a tin whistle ? " says he , "' tis the only other musical insthrumeiit 1 can work . " "Well , make it a tin whistle , " says she , "an' I'll be ctmsidherin' in the manewhile . Be off cpiick ! " she cries , suddenly , " for unless me ears desave me , that ' s Tiorny's latch-key in the hall door !"

CHAPTER III . Tho next day was a lnonslher-ineetin' to be held in the capital of Brefney , an ' afther the meetin' there was to be a torchlight procession , an' the horse was to be taken spontaneously from undher O'Korke ' s side-car . The whole business was to be wound up with a grand snpper in the Town Hall , an' then a purse of

guineas was to be presented to the Prince in token ot his liavm taken the duty off sperits an' tobaecy in his disthrict . The proceeding was to be all undher the immayjet pathronago of Uis Majesty , Dermot Macmurrough , King of Leinsther . King Mac . knew all about this when arrangiii' for ruimin ' olt' wad the Princess Devorgdla , but ho med up his mind to have a bad could in the head , an' to let on that his voice had eomplutely gone .

The first thing he did in the niornin was to ordher up some hot wather to his bedroom an' a uiusthard plaster , an' to ax if they'd send up his breakfast to his bedside , as he had got a murdherin' heavy could in the head an' on the chest . Prince O'ltorke went up to the King s apartment afther he'd swallyed his own breakfast , an' found His Majesty sittm' wud his feet in a tub of hot wather , groanin' mighty hard . " I ' m sorry for yer throuble , Mac , " says the Prince .

" 0 , me chest , me chest ! was nil the King ' ud groan . ¦ ' The musthard is burtiitt' like vithriol into tho marrow of mo collarbones ! " an' at the same time tho ould vagabone hadn ' t a scrap of musthard on him at all . " What about the ineetin' ? " axes thc Prince . " 'Twill be a shockiru' disappointment to the free and independent electors of Brefney , if you don't turn up . "

" 0 , don ' t be talkiu' to me about ntcetin s , ' groans ould Mac . " Sure , 'tis my death I'd get , if 1 ventured out into the open air after the blistherin' I ' ve given nieself . Besides "—he wheezes like an ould woman dyin' of a lingerin' disaise" my voice is complately gone , an' Id be uo use in life to ye . " " It's a bad job , sure enough , " sighs the Prince , for ho was terribly

disappointed . " Is there no chauco at all of yer pulliu' yourself together before evenin' ? " " Not a chance , " groans tho King . "Maybe ' tis all for tho best , Tierney , for 'twill be a great relief to the people not to have to dhraw my weight on the sidecar—you know I turn the scale at twenty stone . "

" I suppose I'd best send up tho Coort Dispensary Docther to you , " says the Prince , heaviu' another sigh of disappointment . "Don't do anything of tl . o soort , " says the King . " I would ' nt have a docther lay a linger on me for the wholo contents of the purse you'll get this evuniu ' . A king has no right to be tlirustin' himself to dispensary doethers . "

" 0 , plaise yerself . ' " says the Prince . An' wud that the innocent man left the rooui , sorely grieved to tliink that the grand speech he was afther preparin ' would be no use to him , for 'twas sprawliu' all over wud remarks about " me worthy cousin , the King of Lcinstlier ; " " mo thrtisted friend and companion , King Dermot . Maeniurrotigh ; '' "our Royal chairman , King Dermot of i . einst . her , who ' s stoppiu' on a visit wild me at present ; " " tnis grand old warrior ; the only Mac . that ' s worth two Macs , any day in the year ; " and so on . Jle had a

toast , too— " Our Royal Visitor , King Dermot : May the hay in his meatlows be as long us tho hairs in his beard ! " Then ho was going to call on a Christ y Minsthrel specially imported lor the occasion , for " The Boys of Waxford , in honour of our royal guest . " J it short the Prince was going to show off to any extent , an * impress upon his own handful of people the close friendship there was between himself an' the mighty Macmurrougli , an' get all the value ho eould out of the roval visit .

An' all to be knocked on tho head by a musthard plasthcr 1 Laither on in tho day poor Tiernan hud a regular bully-raggin' match wud tlie wife . She came into his study to do some dustin' mi' cleaniu '; and as the nun was almost disthracted trying' to dodgo up a new speech , laiviu' out King Dermot or

thryin to talk ol linn as bem absent m body out presjut m spirit ,, lie felt her room ' ml be better than her cump . iny . He axed th-j wife cjuietly at tirst to withdraw but she tnk no heed of him , an' that angered O'Rorke greatly , nn' some devil prompted him to taunt her about the King . '• 1 axed you , Gilly , more than wance , " says he , " to laivo mo to meself , but you seem to take no heed at all of what I say to vou lattherly . Yer uead seems

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