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  • Dec. 22, 1877
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  • AN ACCOMMODATING WITNESS.
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Reviews.

Reviews .

"The Christmas Masonic Magazine . " lyS , Fleet-street , London . We have received this goodly specimen of our Masonic serial literature , and admire its appearance and appreciate its contents . Its ' •bill of fare " is both very varied and very attractive . May a good literary digestion follow

upon its perusal , for it is alike interesting and amusing , intelligent and tolerant , full of much that can please and that can instruct , much that can amuse and edify . We think that the Editor has , however , been a little amiss in " proving" the printers' pages , as there are some typographical errors which should never have appeared in a Magazine so well printed , so carefully edited , and glowing

in so very taking a cover . We think it right to call the attention of all our readers to the " Magazine , " as it is indeed a cheap and good shilling ' s worth , competing successfully as it clearly does , alike in appearance and contents with many Magazines of older standing and higher pretensions . We wish it all success—the success which it most fairly merits ' .

The " Eclectic , " G . H . RAMEY , Editor , Washington . We beg to mention the special merits of this well printed and able specimen of American Masonic literature to all who peruse the weekly pages of the " Freemason . " The " Liberal Freemason , " A . F . CHAPMAN , Boston , U . S . We can conscientiously commend this valuable " Confrere " of ours to the patronage and study of all reading Masons .

The " Canadian Craftsman . We have already expressed our pleasure at , and appreciation of the appearance of this friendly Magazine under the new editorial regime . There are many English Freemasons who may like to know what is going on in Canada among our brethren of the Mystic tie , and they can study no better record of the sayings and doings of Canadian Craftsmen .

The " Voice of Masonry , " Chicago , United States , Is as many of us know ably edited by our Bro . J . W Brown and the well known and able Albert Mackey . It may be considered one of the leading magazines of Anglo-Saxon Masonic literature . It is most admirably conducted , and . its articles are replete with Masonic interest and marked by Masonic sympathy .

" The Masonic Review , " T . J . MELISH , Editor , Cincinnati , Is another American Masonic periodical , very admirably edited and carefully arranged . It always contains much that is most readable by all Masons .

The " Keystone , " Philadelphia . A Masonic paper " sui generis , " edited by our esteemed friend , and brother editor , Clifford P . McCalla . We need hardly add that the " Keystone " is a credit both to Pennsylvanian and Cosmopolitan Freemasonry . We wish that it could be more widely read by our English brethren .

" New York Dispatch . " Under the clear and able direction of Bro . Simon , its Masonic page is always full of gratifying articles for the reaeling and thinking Mason . "Die Bauhiitte . " Leipsic ; J . G . Findel . " Die Bauhiitte " pursues the " even tenour of its way , "

though not altogether unrutlled by the storms of the passing epoch , and we are glad to see it , and to read it . Though we elo not always agree with Bto . Findel , we wish the Bauhiitte every success , always remembering Bro , Findel ' s zealous labours in the good cause of Masonic truth and historical accuracy .

" La Chaine d Union . " HURERT , Paris . We have often praised this excellent periodical before , and we onimend it again sincerely to day , wishing both to it and its editor and publisher , Bro , Hubert , all success . He well deserves it , and the " Chaine d'Union " is always worth reading .

"Le Monde Maconnique . " Edited by Bro . Caubet . Though we have had to differ , and do differ seriously with Bro . Caubet , we differ from him Masonically and honestly . Wc do not think that any good will come of suppression of the truth , or shirking the difference of manly opinion , and therefore we think as wc speak , and speak

what we think . Surely in Freemasonry we ought to seek for and expect the truth . When then we differ from brother Masons , as differ we will and often must ; let us try to speak the truth boldly , freely , without fear , without offence , and without personality . We always read the " Monde Maconnique " with pleasure , and wc recognise ts Masonic information and its editorial ability .

" Der Triangel , " A German Masonic paper , published at New York , of which a copy has been kindly forwarded to us . We know nothing of it , or whether under the Grand Lodge of New York , but it seems to be very ably edited , and to be Masonic in its tone , and well arranged . We note ,

however , that it leans to the Grand Orient of France , even in its last unhappy " faux pas , " It is a great wonder that its editor , apparently both Masonic and enlightened , can be deceived by the specious cry of toleration under which that revolutionary change has been effected . No more intolerant act has ever been really committed by any Masonic bod y , as it is a direct attack on the great foundation-truth

Reviews.

of Universal Freemasonry—belief m T . G . A . O . T . U . Bro . Caubet , one of the leaders of the dominant part ) ' , boldly states , in the last Monde Mac-onique , that the Irish Grand Lodge is not an Universal Grand Lodge , because it accepts belief in a Personal God and the Bible . What will the editor of the " Triangel " say to such a proposition ? It is enough to make the hair stand upon the head of any good old Mason .

" Bulletm du Grand Orient de France . " This is a very useful publication , giving us the official acts of the Grand Orient of France . It is luc ' idly arranged , and skilfully edited , and ought to be studied by all who wish to know the real position of French Freemasonry .

" Grand Imperial Council of Illinois . We have received and pondered over this admirably printed report , and are much struck with it as a record of American High Grade work , as well as with the agreeable engraving of Bro . R . B . Smith , the Grand Sovereign .

A Change Of Suits.

A CHANGE OF SUITS .

BY BRO . TEBBS . FYTTE I . " Well , Tiny , if the worst should come to the worst , we can but cut and run for it ; take a cab from close to your house" so that the old boy can trace it . Drive to Broadstreet—tickets to the Alexandra—get out at Dalstontickets back to Shoreditch—meanwhile , I mount the green

specs , and you that eye-shade I bought m the Strand , and then " " I won't , Bob , and that ' s flat . Eye-shade , indeed why " " Well never mind that , something else , Tiny ; then we can get a special license , or perhaps the banns at Charley ' s

" Won ' t do , Bob ; your aunt ran away , I iknow , and so did my elear , olel grannie ; but it won ' t do . Pa would catch us , and off wc go to Boulogne , or somewhere else , and I shall have to be Mrs . Titus Tomkins within the week—Ugh I " " Well , then , Tiny , I must think of something else , for

your governor won ' t hear of me , I know , ' though I shall come into my own in a twelvemonth ; meanwhile , you won't be your own mistress for another four years , and that old beast will force you to marry that humbug Tompus Tightkins , or whatever his lovely name is

By jove , I have it ; I'll go and ask Charley Jones' advice ; he ' s a lawyer you know " " Lor , Bob , it ' s half-past seven , and Pa will be waiting for his t a—shan't I just catch it—what must 1 > ay ? Goodbye , dear . Oh ! how liiesome those sharp ends of your moustache are

FYTTE II . " How d'ye do , Charley ? Busy , eh ?" "No , not to you , Bob , sit down and tell me what it is tenant bolted Smith ' shot the moon , ' eh ?" " No , Charity , worse than that . Old Clare insists on Tiny marrying that Tomkins fellow , and I don ' t see how

to prevent it ; he raves at her so , and leads her such a dance that 1 expect she'll be worried out of her life , and give way at last for very peace sake . What in the name of good fortune shall 1 do ?" " Sit down , man , or else you'll wear out a fortune in your shoe-leather and my carpet to boot—sit elown ami

jet ' s think . H ' m ' . —I have it I You ' ve written her some letters , I suppose ?" " I shoulel just think I have . " " Spooney , I suppose , Bob ?" " Well , the usual sort . " "Any mention of marriage , Bob ?"

" Yes , of course . " "Sit elown and write . Now , Bob , fire away I ' My dear Sir . ' " " None of your larks Charley ! Fancy , writing to him ! " ' " Do as I tell you " " My dear Sir ,

I deeply regret that I have been so illadvised as to cross your wishes with regard to your daughter , anil still further that I have , contrary to your desire , which ought to have been law in so tender a relationship as that of father and daughter , addressed to Miss Clare , several letters .

I feel with you , that we arc both too young to enter into any engagement as yet , and I therefore beg to inform you that 1 shall not again act contrary to your wishes . At the same time may 1 ask you to kindly return me the foolish letters that I have sent to your daughter . —I remain , my dear Sir , very truly yours ,

"T . J . CLARK , Esq . RODENT ACCMNGTON . " "O , blow it all , Charley ! I'm not going to send that " " But I am , Bob . Leave it to me , I'll see it all right lov you . Good-bye , you must hook it now , for I ' m awfully busy Good-bye !"

FYTTE III . Martha , I tell you I won ' t hear of it . Pass me another egg and some more tea . Bob Accrington——pooh I Young ass " " But , Pa . 1 "

A Change Of Suits.

" Hold your tongue , Emily ! I know what is best for you . You will and shall be Mrs . Tompkins , this day six months . " " f vvo " " Come in Susan . "

" Letters please Sir !" " One from that young idiot again . Hallo I ' foolish ' ' please return letters . ' ' Letters ? ' What letters ?" "Oh , Thomas I hire's a letter from Charley Jones ; he says , " You'll be pleased , I know , to hear of Bob

Accrington ' s luck . He's going to many Miss Aspley , whose maiden aunt has just died , leaving her a couple of thousand a year , and " " What , Martha ? Oh , that ' s the game is it ? I'll spoil your fun for you , Master Bob 1 Go and fetch me those letters , child . " " Here they are Pa I but "

"Run away child . Now Martha . " " Ha ! ' stick to you , Tiny dear , through thick and thin ; marry in spite of old Grumper " Now , Martha , I'll tell yon what I'll do . I'll put this directly into old Kasay ' s bands , and he shall enter an action for breach of promise . Master Bob , you shall squeak for this !"

FYTTE IV . " So , Air . Clare , the defendant promised your daughter marriage , did he ?" " Yes , sir , he did ; and I thought to begin at the

beginning " " We don ' t want you to begin anywhere , Sir , but merely to answer the questions put to you . You swear that he promised your daughter marriage ?" " Yes , sir , he did 1 "

Very well , Mr . Clare , and you consented , I suppose . '" " Well , Sir ! 1 , at first " "On your oath , Sir , you gave your consent ? 1 must know this , as your daughter was , and is still , a minor , I believe ?" "If I might . "

" He good enough to answer my question •" " Mr . Smith , you must answer the question of thejearned Counsel explicitly . " " Yes , my Lord ; I will endeavour to do so . " " Well , then , Sir , your daughter had , and has still , your

consent to accept the proposal of the defendant for an immediate marriage ?" " Yes , Sir I " " Then , my Lord , I submit that this case need go no further , as my client is perfectly willing to carry out his engagement . " FYTTE V . —( A PAIR . ) Plaintiff non-suited—and Defendant suited to a T ( incy )

An Accommodating Witness.

AN ACCOMMODATING WITNESS .

In an assault and battery case tried before Justice Moses a day or two since , a Mexican was a witness . The business proceeded as follows : Judge : You speak English , do you not ? Witness : Yes sir . Judge : Well , you will please go on and tell what you knuw about the assault made by this man upon this

woman . Witness : Yes , sir . Attorney : Ye ondersthand , sor , that ye air to go on now and schtate to the coort and jury what ye know about this case—in yer own language , d'ye ondersthand ? Witness : Yes , sir , I understand perfectly well . You want nic to tell the story in my own language .

Attorney : Exactly . Proceed , sor . Witness : Este mojire vauia mi la casa—Attorney : What air ye sayin' ? Witness : Este hombre tombein—Attorney : What is that ye air sayin' ? What did the man do—what did he say ? Witness : Aque , senora , yo quere habla

uste—Attorney : ( growing red in the face)—What air ye . jabbcriu '—Italian , French , Dufch , or what ? Witness : I am speaking in my own language , sir , as you requested me to do— -I am a Spaniard , sir . Art rney : I didn't mane for ye to spake yer own language whin 1 said for yc to spake yere own language . Ye can spake to me as I ' m spakin' to ye , can ' t ye ?

Witness I can try , sir . Attorney : Well , thin , thry , sor . Schtate to the coort and the jury what ye saw of the assault . Witness : Well , thin , yer honor , this man and this woman kim to me house , and sez the man to the woman , scz he , I wtint to spake wid ye , sez—Attorney : What do ye mane , sor , by spakin' in that

way : Witness : Sure , sor , ye axed me to spake in the language ye use yerself , sor , an' sure I ' m afthcr thryin to obleegc—Attorney : I don't want any sich language as that from ye , sor , I—

Judge : Just proceed in English , please , with what you saw ot the affair . Witness : With pleasure sir . I shoulel have done so at first , hut the learned counsel seemed rather particular in regard to the language in which he wished me to give my evidence .

As the witness proceeded with Ins story the attorney sat mopping his brow with his bandana , and scowling black as a thunder cloud on all in the room . '

“The Freemason: 1877-12-22, Page 11” Masonic Periodicals Online, Library and Museum of Freemasonry, 5 June 2025, django:8000/periodicals/fvl/issues/fvl_22121877/page/11/.
  • List
  • Grid
Title Category Page
TO OUR READERS. Article 1
Untitled Article 1
Answers to Correspondents. Article 1
Births , Marriages and Deaths. Article 1
CONTENTS. Article 1
Untitled Article 1
A CHRISTMAS GREETING. Article 1
THE PROGRESS OF TIME. Article 1
CHRISTMAS. Article 2
MASONIC THOUGHTS FOR CHRISTMAS, 1877. Article 2
" PEACE ON EARTH, GOOD WILL TO MAN." Article 3
OUR "ST. JOHN'S." Article 3
" LE MONDE MACONNIQUE, " " THE SCOTTISH FREEMASON," AND " THE FREEMASON.' ' Article 3
THE INSTALLATION ENGRAVING. Article 4
COMMUNIQUE. Article 4
Original Correspondence. Article 4
LODGE OF BENEVOLENCE. Article 4
Original Correspondence. Article 4
THE UNIVERSALITY OF MASONRY AND THE BELIEF IN GOD. Article 5
THE MASONIC HALL IN DUBLIN. Article 5
TOLERANCE OF MASONRY. Article 6
KNIGHT TEMPLAR NOTES. Article 7
ADDRESS DELIVERED AT THE DEDICATION OF ROGER "WILLIAMS' MONUMENT, U.S. Article 7
TRUTH REGNANT. Article 8
LOOK TO THE FUTURE. Article 8
THE FRUITS OF FREEMASONRY. Article 8
THE LODGE. Article 9
NON-READING MASONS. Article 9
A LODGE OF SORROW IN AMERICA. Article 9
GRAND ORIENT OF FRANCE. Article 10
R.W. BRO. D. MURRAY LYON, GRAND SECRETARY OF THE GRAND LODGE OF SCOTLAND. Article 10
Poetry. Article 10
THE ANGEL OF MERCY. Article 10
THE MASON'S JEWELS. Article 10
THE CHRISTMAS TREE. Article 10
Reviews. Article 11
A CHANGE OF SUITS. Article 11
AN ACCOMMODATING WITNESS. Article 11
WHAT HAPPENED AT A CHRISTMAS GATHERING. Article 12
VATICANISM IN A NEW ROLE. Article 13
GRAND LODGE OF PENNSYLVANIA. Article 13
GOOD THOUGHTS. Article 14
PARIS EXHIBITION OF 1878. Article 14
PRIVATE INQUIRIES. Article 14
MASONRY. Article 14
LIVING STILL. Article 14
NOTES ON ART, &c. Article 15
THE GRAND ORIENT OF FRANCE. Article 15
TECHNICAL EDUCATION IN THE MINING SCHOOL. Article 15
" PASS-WORDS FOR THE CRAFT." Article 15
PROVINCIAL GRAND LODGE OF NORTH WALES AND SHROPSHIRE . Article 16
REPORTS OF MASONIC MEETINGS. Article 16
Royal Arch. Article 20
Red Cross of Constantine. Article 21
CONCERNING FREEMASONRY AND ITS SECRETS. Article 21
THE ORDER OF THE TEMPLE. Article 22
WHAT IS CHIVALRY? Article 22
HANNAH IRWIN ISRAEL. Article 22
A "GENTLEMAN MASON." Article 22
MASONIC DIARY FOR 1878. Article 22
Masonic and General Tidings. Article 23
METROPOLITAN MASONIC MEETINGS, Article 24
Untitled Ad 24
Untitled Ad 24
Untitled Ad 24
Untitled Ad 24
Untitled Ad 24
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Reviews.

Reviews .

"The Christmas Masonic Magazine . " lyS , Fleet-street , London . We have received this goodly specimen of our Masonic serial literature , and admire its appearance and appreciate its contents . Its ' •bill of fare " is both very varied and very attractive . May a good literary digestion follow

upon its perusal , for it is alike interesting and amusing , intelligent and tolerant , full of much that can please and that can instruct , much that can amuse and edify . We think that the Editor has , however , been a little amiss in " proving" the printers' pages , as there are some typographical errors which should never have appeared in a Magazine so well printed , so carefully edited , and glowing

in so very taking a cover . We think it right to call the attention of all our readers to the " Magazine , " as it is indeed a cheap and good shilling ' s worth , competing successfully as it clearly does , alike in appearance and contents with many Magazines of older standing and higher pretensions . We wish it all success—the success which it most fairly merits ' .

The " Eclectic , " G . H . RAMEY , Editor , Washington . We beg to mention the special merits of this well printed and able specimen of American Masonic literature to all who peruse the weekly pages of the " Freemason . " The " Liberal Freemason , " A . F . CHAPMAN , Boston , U . S . We can conscientiously commend this valuable " Confrere " of ours to the patronage and study of all reading Masons .

The " Canadian Craftsman . We have already expressed our pleasure at , and appreciation of the appearance of this friendly Magazine under the new editorial regime . There are many English Freemasons who may like to know what is going on in Canada among our brethren of the Mystic tie , and they can study no better record of the sayings and doings of Canadian Craftsmen .

The " Voice of Masonry , " Chicago , United States , Is as many of us know ably edited by our Bro . J . W Brown and the well known and able Albert Mackey . It may be considered one of the leading magazines of Anglo-Saxon Masonic literature . It is most admirably conducted , and . its articles are replete with Masonic interest and marked by Masonic sympathy .

" The Masonic Review , " T . J . MELISH , Editor , Cincinnati , Is another American Masonic periodical , very admirably edited and carefully arranged . It always contains much that is most readable by all Masons .

The " Keystone , " Philadelphia . A Masonic paper " sui generis , " edited by our esteemed friend , and brother editor , Clifford P . McCalla . We need hardly add that the " Keystone " is a credit both to Pennsylvanian and Cosmopolitan Freemasonry . We wish that it could be more widely read by our English brethren .

" New York Dispatch . " Under the clear and able direction of Bro . Simon , its Masonic page is always full of gratifying articles for the reaeling and thinking Mason . "Die Bauhiitte . " Leipsic ; J . G . Findel . " Die Bauhiitte " pursues the " even tenour of its way , "

though not altogether unrutlled by the storms of the passing epoch , and we are glad to see it , and to read it . Though we elo not always agree with Bto . Findel , we wish the Bauhiitte every success , always remembering Bro , Findel ' s zealous labours in the good cause of Masonic truth and historical accuracy .

" La Chaine d Union . " HURERT , Paris . We have often praised this excellent periodical before , and we onimend it again sincerely to day , wishing both to it and its editor and publisher , Bro , Hubert , all success . He well deserves it , and the " Chaine d'Union " is always worth reading .

"Le Monde Maconnique . " Edited by Bro . Caubet . Though we have had to differ , and do differ seriously with Bro . Caubet , we differ from him Masonically and honestly . Wc do not think that any good will come of suppression of the truth , or shirking the difference of manly opinion , and therefore we think as wc speak , and speak

what we think . Surely in Freemasonry we ought to seek for and expect the truth . When then we differ from brother Masons , as differ we will and often must ; let us try to speak the truth boldly , freely , without fear , without offence , and without personality . We always read the " Monde Maconnique " with pleasure , and wc recognise ts Masonic information and its editorial ability .

" Der Triangel , " A German Masonic paper , published at New York , of which a copy has been kindly forwarded to us . We know nothing of it , or whether under the Grand Lodge of New York , but it seems to be very ably edited , and to be Masonic in its tone , and well arranged . We note ,

however , that it leans to the Grand Orient of France , even in its last unhappy " faux pas , " It is a great wonder that its editor , apparently both Masonic and enlightened , can be deceived by the specious cry of toleration under which that revolutionary change has been effected . No more intolerant act has ever been really committed by any Masonic bod y , as it is a direct attack on the great foundation-truth

Reviews.

of Universal Freemasonry—belief m T . G . A . O . T . U . Bro . Caubet , one of the leaders of the dominant part ) ' , boldly states , in the last Monde Mac-onique , that the Irish Grand Lodge is not an Universal Grand Lodge , because it accepts belief in a Personal God and the Bible . What will the editor of the " Triangel " say to such a proposition ? It is enough to make the hair stand upon the head of any good old Mason .

" Bulletm du Grand Orient de France . " This is a very useful publication , giving us the official acts of the Grand Orient of France . It is luc ' idly arranged , and skilfully edited , and ought to be studied by all who wish to know the real position of French Freemasonry .

" Grand Imperial Council of Illinois . We have received and pondered over this admirably printed report , and are much struck with it as a record of American High Grade work , as well as with the agreeable engraving of Bro . R . B . Smith , the Grand Sovereign .

A Change Of Suits.

A CHANGE OF SUITS .

BY BRO . TEBBS . FYTTE I . " Well , Tiny , if the worst should come to the worst , we can but cut and run for it ; take a cab from close to your house" so that the old boy can trace it . Drive to Broadstreet—tickets to the Alexandra—get out at Dalstontickets back to Shoreditch—meanwhile , I mount the green

specs , and you that eye-shade I bought m the Strand , and then " " I won't , Bob , and that ' s flat . Eye-shade , indeed why " " Well never mind that , something else , Tiny ; then we can get a special license , or perhaps the banns at Charley ' s

" Won ' t do , Bob ; your aunt ran away , I iknow , and so did my elear , olel grannie ; but it won ' t do . Pa would catch us , and off wc go to Boulogne , or somewhere else , and I shall have to be Mrs . Titus Tomkins within the week—Ugh I " " Well , then , Tiny , I must think of something else , for

your governor won ' t hear of me , I know , ' though I shall come into my own in a twelvemonth ; meanwhile , you won't be your own mistress for another four years , and that old beast will force you to marry that humbug Tompus Tightkins , or whatever his lovely name is

By jove , I have it ; I'll go and ask Charley Jones' advice ; he ' s a lawyer you know " " Lor , Bob , it ' s half-past seven , and Pa will be waiting for his t a—shan't I just catch it—what must 1 > ay ? Goodbye , dear . Oh ! how liiesome those sharp ends of your moustache are

FYTTE II . " How d'ye do , Charley ? Busy , eh ?" "No , not to you , Bob , sit down and tell me what it is tenant bolted Smith ' shot the moon , ' eh ?" " No , Charity , worse than that . Old Clare insists on Tiny marrying that Tomkins fellow , and I don ' t see how

to prevent it ; he raves at her so , and leads her such a dance that 1 expect she'll be worried out of her life , and give way at last for very peace sake . What in the name of good fortune shall 1 do ?" " Sit down , man , or else you'll wear out a fortune in your shoe-leather and my carpet to boot—sit elown ami

jet ' s think . H ' m ' . —I have it I You ' ve written her some letters , I suppose ?" " I shoulel just think I have . " " Spooney , I suppose , Bob ?" " Well , the usual sort . " "Any mention of marriage , Bob ?"

" Yes , of course . " "Sit elown and write . Now , Bob , fire away I ' My dear Sir . ' " " None of your larks Charley ! Fancy , writing to him ! " ' " Do as I tell you " " My dear Sir ,

I deeply regret that I have been so illadvised as to cross your wishes with regard to your daughter , anil still further that I have , contrary to your desire , which ought to have been law in so tender a relationship as that of father and daughter , addressed to Miss Clare , several letters .

I feel with you , that we arc both too young to enter into any engagement as yet , and I therefore beg to inform you that 1 shall not again act contrary to your wishes . At the same time may 1 ask you to kindly return me the foolish letters that I have sent to your daughter . —I remain , my dear Sir , very truly yours ,

"T . J . CLARK , Esq . RODENT ACCMNGTON . " "O , blow it all , Charley ! I'm not going to send that " " But I am , Bob . Leave it to me , I'll see it all right lov you . Good-bye , you must hook it now , for I ' m awfully busy Good-bye !"

FYTTE III . Martha , I tell you I won ' t hear of it . Pass me another egg and some more tea . Bob Accrington——pooh I Young ass " " But , Pa . 1 "

A Change Of Suits.

" Hold your tongue , Emily ! I know what is best for you . You will and shall be Mrs . Tompkins , this day six months . " " f vvo " " Come in Susan . "

" Letters please Sir !" " One from that young idiot again . Hallo I ' foolish ' ' please return letters . ' ' Letters ? ' What letters ?" "Oh , Thomas I hire's a letter from Charley Jones ; he says , " You'll be pleased , I know , to hear of Bob

Accrington ' s luck . He's going to many Miss Aspley , whose maiden aunt has just died , leaving her a couple of thousand a year , and " " What , Martha ? Oh , that ' s the game is it ? I'll spoil your fun for you , Master Bob 1 Go and fetch me those letters , child . " " Here they are Pa I but "

"Run away child . Now Martha . " " Ha ! ' stick to you , Tiny dear , through thick and thin ; marry in spite of old Grumper " Now , Martha , I'll tell yon what I'll do . I'll put this directly into old Kasay ' s bands , and he shall enter an action for breach of promise . Master Bob , you shall squeak for this !"

FYTTE IV . " So , Air . Clare , the defendant promised your daughter marriage , did he ?" " Yes , sir , he did ; and I thought to begin at the

beginning " " We don ' t want you to begin anywhere , Sir , but merely to answer the questions put to you . You swear that he promised your daughter marriage ?" " Yes , sir , he did 1 "

Very well , Mr . Clare , and you consented , I suppose . '" " Well , Sir ! 1 , at first " "On your oath , Sir , you gave your consent ? 1 must know this , as your daughter was , and is still , a minor , I believe ?" "If I might . "

" He good enough to answer my question •" " Mr . Smith , you must answer the question of thejearned Counsel explicitly . " " Yes , my Lord ; I will endeavour to do so . " " Well , then , Sir , your daughter had , and has still , your

consent to accept the proposal of the defendant for an immediate marriage ?" " Yes , Sir I " " Then , my Lord , I submit that this case need go no further , as my client is perfectly willing to carry out his engagement . " FYTTE V . —( A PAIR . ) Plaintiff non-suited—and Defendant suited to a T ( incy )

An Accommodating Witness.

AN ACCOMMODATING WITNESS .

In an assault and battery case tried before Justice Moses a day or two since , a Mexican was a witness . The business proceeded as follows : Judge : You speak English , do you not ? Witness : Yes sir . Judge : Well , you will please go on and tell what you knuw about the assault made by this man upon this

woman . Witness : Yes , sir . Attorney : Ye ondersthand , sor , that ye air to go on now and schtate to the coort and jury what ye know about this case—in yer own language , d'ye ondersthand ? Witness : Yes , sir , I understand perfectly well . You want nic to tell the story in my own language .

Attorney : Exactly . Proceed , sor . Witness : Este mojire vauia mi la casa—Attorney : What air ye sayin' ? Witness : Este hombre tombein—Attorney : What is that ye air sayin' ? What did the man do—what did he say ? Witness : Aque , senora , yo quere habla

uste—Attorney : ( growing red in the face)—What air ye . jabbcriu '—Italian , French , Dufch , or what ? Witness : I am speaking in my own language , sir , as you requested me to do— -I am a Spaniard , sir . Art rney : I didn't mane for ye to spake yer own language whin 1 said for yc to spake yere own language . Ye can spake to me as I ' m spakin' to ye , can ' t ye ?

Witness I can try , sir . Attorney : Well , thin , thry , sor . Schtate to the coort and the jury what ye saw of the assault . Witness : Well , thin , yer honor , this man and this woman kim to me house , and sez the man to the woman , scz he , I wtint to spake wid ye , sez—Attorney : What do ye mane , sor , by spakin' in that

way : Witness : Sure , sor , ye axed me to spake in the language ye use yerself , sor , an' sure I ' m afthcr thryin to obleegc—Attorney : I don't want any sich language as that from ye , sor , I—

Judge : Just proceed in English , please , with what you saw ot the affair . Witness : With pleasure sir . I shoulel have done so at first , hut the learned counsel seemed rather particular in regard to the language in which he wished me to give my evidence .

As the witness proceeded with Ins story the attorney sat mopping his brow with his bandana , and scowling black as a thunder cloud on all in the room . '

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