Monthly Odds And Ends.

Monthly Odds and Ends .

A MODEL EEVIEW— " THE BROKEN LUTE . " —We observe in the papers the efforts of a young poet , who has addressed some lines " To My Broken Lute . " He observes : " Gone is the sweetness that lay in thy strings , I shall play thee no more my beautiful lute-Hushed is thy voice , which in my memory sings ,

Thy accents are silent and inaudible , mute . " We do not profess to knoAv much about lutes , but it seems to us that a lute which is silent , inaudible and mute must be one of the very quietest kind of lutes . We can imagine nothing that would be less likel y to make a noise under any circumstances ; and this we

regard as extremely fortunate , for if the poot thrummed no better music out of the catgut than he jerks out of his immortal soul when he sings on paper , he must have been sufficiently a nuisance in his neighbourhood to depreciate the surrounding property at least 33 per cent . We suppose , however , he will save up now and try to buy a new lute . We advise him not to . From the estimate of his

gifts which we have been able to make , we should judge that he would shine brightest as a performer on the accordeon . We would have suggested cymbals , but it requires brains to play them properly . GEORGE Colman , in his " Random Records , " tells a comical story of a parcel of school-boya

in the time of James the I . of England , who smoked to excess : " This , of course , Avas concealed , as much as one can conceal a smell , from the dominie , till , one luckless evening , when the imps were all huddled together round the fire of their dormitory , involving each other in vapours of their own creation

, lo ! iu burst the master , and stood in awful dignity before them . ' How now f quoth the dominie to the first lad : ' how dare you be smoking tobacco 1 ' ' Sir , ' said the boy , ' I ' m subject to headaches , and a pipe takes off the pain . ' And you ?—and you ?—and you V inquired the pedagogue , questioning every boy

in his turn . One had a raging tooth , another the colic , the third a cough , the fourth—in short , they all had something . Now , sirrah , bellowed the doctor to the last boy , ' what do you smoke for V Alas ! all the excuses were exhausted , when the interrogated urchin , putting down his pipe after a farewell whiff , and looking very gravely in the dominie ' s face , said in a whining , hypocrital tone , ' Sir , I smoke for corns ! ' '

AT at juvenile party a young gentleman , about seven years old , kept himself from the rest of the company . The lady of the house called to Mm , "Come and play and dance , my dear . Choose one of those pretty girls for your wife ' . "— "Not likely ! " cried the young cynic . " No wife for me ! do you think I want to be worried out of my life like poor papa 1 "

Bear civility—A hug . Hush-Money—Nurse ' s wages . The feature of our age—Cheek . What is the most becoming dress for the earth ?—The skirt of a Avood . Inscri ption for a Foundling

Hospital" Thus far and no farther . " Few persons , probably as a rule , sleep so soundly , or enjoy so much undisturbed repose , as night watchmen . Portland , Maine , has a " WidoAv ' s Wood Society' '—but who ever heard of a widow who wouldn't ?

A tourist , who waa asked in Avhat part of Switzerland he felt the heat most , replied , " When I was going to Berne . " The Creston ( Iowa ) Journal recommends people who advertise on fences to mix a little spelling in along Avith their paint . Somebody has ivritten a work entitled

" Useful hints for Ugly Girls , " and the New York "Commercial Advertiser" declares that the book has the smallest circulation of any literary production in the United States . A joyous damsel rushed into a citizen ' s arms at Savannah , exclaiming , " 0 , ' you are

my long lost brother ! " She soon discovered her mistake , and rushed off in a confused manner , accompanied by her long lost brother ' s pocket book .

TWADDLE AXD NOUSENCE . —There ' s generally a great amount of twaddle and nonsence whenever a man like Agassiz dies . Agassiz gave his life to science , and his was the ambition to enlarge his own knowledge and that of his fellow-men . He had no time to make money . So far this is all correct . But when bewailing that the rest of the world do not follow in his footsteps they talk nonsence . How long

could we live if every man in the community were to give up his whole time to science ? A writer in the Times of Saturday says : " To some extent wives and mothers are responsible for no little of ourtoogeneval disinclination for a steady and persevering pursuit of high intellectual aims . " Yes , the women actually require foo . d and raiment , and look to husbands , sons , and brothers to procure it for tfiem . Butchers , bakers shoemakers , tailors , and other vile mechanicals have

something to do with our not giving our lives to the steady pursuit of "high intellectual aims . " They are so vulgar-minded that they want pay for the articles they furnish . Now we fail , notwithstanding all this fine talk of elegant writers , to comprehend why it is nobler to hunt fossils and classify vertebra ; than to furnish men with work , or to do necessary and honourable work oneself . The man who does

most for his fellows is he who opens up new avenues of labor to him , who provides him with means to house and feed , clothe and educate his family . The most learned discussions won't fill empty bellies , and the most elegant essays can ' t convince us that it is « higher exercise of wisdom to reconstruct a mammoth than it is to feed a town .