Turf Smoked.

councils there AVith Kentish farmers , Avho in the intervals of cloud-blowing , furtivel y pick p inches of grain from their trousers pockets , and still more furtively masticate them , after market hours , after leaving Mark Lane , say at two in the afternoon . I have been at other times , at all times ; but I have never been there at any time but HE Avas there !

HE is my subject . Let me not digress—let me tackle HIM at once ; ancl yet alas ! the temptation of my position ! At this moment I stand like Garrick in Hogarth ' s picture , AA'here Tragedy pulls him one Avay and Comedy the other—like Hercules between Virtue and Vice , in the " goody-goody" story . Here am I obliged immediately to describe HIM—having to bend iuy most earnest attention on HlSl , and yet I am almost irresistibly impelled

to stray away from the grand theme , and Avrite an essay upon pigtails . I have knoAvn in my time some A'ery eminent and aristocratic pigtails adorning the necks of different classes of society . There Avas that tall military gentleman AA'ho until the other day Avas the . most conspicuous figure in the reading room of the British Museum , and Avas no less a ' person than Charles Albany Stuart , a direct descendants—was he not said to have been the grandson or great grandson—of the unhappy Charles

EdAvard . Well , he wore a very handsomely-tied pigtail . I haA'e spoken Avith a buttonedup General , six feet four hi g h , who claimed to be the representative through the elder male branch of " old John of Gaunt , time-honoured Lancaster , " and asserted that be Avas the rightful sovereign of these realms—although he magnanimously abstained from taking any oA'ert steps to assert his pretensions—a man Avith about fifteen Christian names , in Avhich Tudor , Stuart , Athelstane , and Plantagenet conspicuously figured—a

warrior AVIIO found his recreation in stirring up revolutions in South American republics , and then fighting in those pronunciainientos , or Avhatever they called them—he apparently Avasn't very particular on Avhich side he dreAV his SAvord—the Government or the Opposition—so long as he did draw it . Well , he Avore gold spurs ancl a pigtail . I kneAV a highly respectable queue , the proud possessor of Avhich Avas a gaunt , haggard French emigre . He had been a marquis in his own country , and he sold boot-laces standing by the kerb in Eatcliff Highway .

HE—see how adroitly I get back to my subject : —HE wore a pigtail—moreover , lie wore hair powder . Likewise he sported a frill to his shirt—not one of your modern little edgings , nestling in your bosom as if ashamed of the finikin compromise—but an assertive , demonstrative frill , sticking out profusely at right angles Avith the waistcoat and ostentatiously calling attention to its snoAvy get up by displaying a large diamond brooch glittering in its midst . HE Avore a cravat too , a many-folded enswatbment of

spotless white . I never saw him—you see I have now sufficientl y identified my hero ancl so may leave off emphasising him in capitals—I never saAv him at any time of the clay out of a dress coal ;—a regular claw hammer—I never saw him in any other place than seated on one particular fauteuil in one special corner of Louey ' s . He didn't even change his place according to the seasons , like " glorious John " is traditionally reported to have done . Dryden , Ave are toldhad his OAVU elboAV chair at Will ' sAvhich AA'as placed

, , in a special corner by tbe fireside in winter , and removed to a particular bay window in summer . Like the poet , hoAvever , he always attracted talkers and listeners—more of the latter than tbe former , it always struck me , as Ave know to have been tbe case at the coffee house—to his throne . This spot was an oasis in the silence of Louey's smoking room sea—one of tbe exceptions to which I have before alluded . I never beheld him apart from a huge goblet of hot brown brandy and Avater—like the shilling ' s Avorth with Avhich Mr .

Squeers treated himself eA'ery time he descended to stretch bis legs on that memorable Yorkshire journey—the rummer of the old coaching days . I never saAv him Avithout a huge cigar in his mouth , or airily poised between his fat fingers , clad in a suit of p late mail of preciously gemmed rings , as if to display the Golconda of stones to the utmost advantage . And be it remarked , the cigar Avas another conspicuous exception to the " rule of the room , " clearly denoting its consumer a privileged , customer . He was , as I haA'e said , always there . Who Avas he ? What Avas he ? He was elderly . He Avas corpident . He Avas apparently wealthy . He Avas