A Very Lamentable Lamentation.

We ad dun so werry werry well , No hend of tizzies hand bobs , But I must say as them as peached on us , They is nothing more nor snobs , For they ' ve taken the bed from beneath our feet

, As well as our moulds and stuff , And they ' ve hactilly seized the book for Avorking , As hif they addunt bagged henuf .

250 UOAV bohbies is a haAvful loss For an ' onest tradesman like me , And then when they tuk the softer sects , They did a cruel thing you see , For werry hoften vere men hentirely fail , A Avuman she will succeed , And I've known some werry leery ones For to make the gudgeons bleed .

Well , I don't think much of Hold Hengland now , And Averry much less of the law , I believe that heverythings a going wrong , And hall is as cross has hever I saAv , For a poor feller now can be taken hup , For the werry slightest thing , And thimble-rigging haint Avot it Avere , And they ' ve needy busted the ring .

But Avot I feels truly the most hon , Is their treatment of a Avuman , I says as W to search ' er piockets Is certainly not human ; If they haddunt found that bag of bobbies . We might ' ave got hoff afore the beak , But 250 counterfeet shillings , Does heverything helse but speak .

Still never say die , old matey , And here's good luck to our 'ed , If the Kops haddunt been doAvn upon us . We should ' ave ' ad a fustrate spread , For we had got hon so werry prosperous , And taken lots of the tradesfolks bin , That we should ' ave done uncommon com fortable , And made a little tin .

But hi ham alius down hon my luck , ham hi , And hive got no more to say , The pollis they Avuddent give us a chance , To get hourselves away . We shall ' ave to do some wurk gratis , And getlike Hortonthinner ;

, , I Avish they'd g ive hus somethin' better , Than Government skilly for dinner . BILL SIKES , X His Mark

A Few Extracts From A Relative Natural History.

A FEW EXTRACTS FROM A RELATIVE NATURAL HISTORY .

AUNT . —The Aunt is generally a domestic animal , sometimes fat and sometimes lean . They often have great affection for their nepheAvs and nieces , which occasionally shoAvs itself by " tips " of five or ten pound notes ; Avhen this is the case they are greatly to be admired . BROTHER . —The Brother is sometimes a wild and sometimes a tame animal—often

rather a bore . AVhen tame , generally " very tame , " and may then be knoAva by green spectacles , a pal e face , and fondness for " milk and Avatery" novels ; ' when Avild , by a Aveakness for betting , billiards , late hours , & c . COUSIN . —The cousin is often a very useless animal . If of the opposite sexmay

, be used for ordinary flirtation ; Avhen of the same sex and rich , they may be tried for borroAving purposes ( success doubtful ) . Often known as " hangers on . " DAUGHTER . — These are often lovely creatures , and may be seen to advantage at

balls , flower shows , the opera , & c . They are often found playing the piano , singing , flirting , & c . Their chief characteristic is a love of dress and sentiment . GRAVDPA . —Is usually aged , with a fondness for being read to before—and a nap after—dinner . AVill occasionally grumble ,

but , when of the " red nose " species , Old Port , applied at frequent intervals , will be found to have a soothing effect . May be knoAvn by comparing youth of the present generation with those of his own , not alvjays to the former ' s advantage . NEPHEAV . —The Nephew Avhen " awfully

clever" at spending and borrowing money , may generally be considered a nuisance , as he is then continually asking favours . The only certain remedy is to send him abroad . Chiefly known by his want of cash . UNCLE —The uncle may be divided into

two classes , " the jolly" and " the crusty . " The jolly can be bled freely and still comes up smiling ; but the crusty , if once bit , it is best not to try again , as he is then in a very dangerous state . Both kinds are generally found with either a gold or silver

snuff box . After dinner may be considered the best time to see them to advantage . R . A . J .