My Mother-In-Law.

MY MOTHER-IN-LAW .

BY MARY KYLE DALLAS . WE take this amusing story from th Philadelphia Keystone . My name is Jonas Perth , and I always had a great dread of mothers-in-law .

When I married Anna Maria Bashford , the only thing that troubled my peace of mind was , that I had a mother-in-law . To be sure , the seas rolled between us . Mrs . Bashford was in France with a married son , and was unable to come to

America just then . Maria had always lived with an aunt , and being arrived at the years of discretion , her mother seut her a lace veil and her blessing , and we were married quite as well without her presence at St . John ' s one flue morning . Yes , the seas rolled between my mother-in-law and myself , but I had heard so much of them —I mean mothers-in-law—that I was not

quite easy in my mind . When we were married , Anna Maria and I went to houskeeping . We hired one of a small row , let furnished at a reasonable rate . They were all alike—just the same build and exactly the same articles of furniture . Two were empty ; three

already occupied . We chose one of them on the advice of our landlord . He said we should have such quiet neighbours —> old Mrs . Bolivar and her daughter on one side , and Mr . Briggs , an old bachelor named Briggs , on the other . They were

quiet ; we never saw either of them . A figure in a large black shawl and a long black veil , now and then , went in and out of Mrs , Bolivar door . We gupposed . it to be Mrs . Bolivar ; but it might have been Miss Bolivar as well . Once in a while somebody groaned a little on the other side . Anna Maria decided that it was

Mr . Briggs , who had been crossed in love , troubled by the memories of the past . From the glimpse I caught of that gentleman's countenanee , I concluded that he never had any love to be crossed in , and supposed that he must have discovered occasionally that he had in some manner lost a few cents . Nobody in either of the houses ever sat at the window , or stood at the door , or

walked in the small courtyard , where the roses of Sharon grew . We had the place all to ourselves . It was very pleasant . So gradually as Mrs . Bashford still wrote affectionate letters from France , I forgot my terrors and made myself comfortable . My mother-in-law would probably nevci trouble me .

Judge of my consternation , therefore , when one morning , at my place of business , I received a telgram containing these words : " Dear mamma has come to us , hurry home !" I read itsat down on a tall stooland

, , stared at vacancy . A crisis had arrived . What should I do 1 How attack a trouble of which I had no experience 1 I did not even know in what shape it would come . I could form no conception of the style of my mother-in-law who awaited me—a

large one with a cap , a small one with frizettes , a fat one like a feather bed , a lean one , all bones 1 Was she high-strung , and mistress of all the long words in the English language ? Was she of the weeping order 1 Was she a wonderful house-keeper or a commanding person ? What part of a woman was my mother-in-law 1 She had been in France . I knew a man once who

had a French mother-in-law ; he had suffered . Being dosed with soup , which the lady thought the only diet for the human race , and presented with water and refreshment , he had rebelled . The lady had once thrown the soup , hot , at his head , and gone into hysterics , declaring that he was an assassin !

But perhaps my mother-in-law had not become French enough for that . However , all writers combine to declare that mothers-in-law create dissensions in families , and set the wife against her lawful master ; the husband once subjected , the man was lost . '

I would begin by taking the upper hand , and thus keep it . There was a way where there was a will . Thus resolving , I went home at an early hour ; and as I walked up the row , whistled to keep courage up .

There was no li ghts in the cottage windows as yet , but as I ascended my door-step , I saw that my door was ajar , and wondering how it happened , entered without noise and closed it . A fire bu rnt