After All, Or Thrice Won.

warm water . I'm thoroughly disgusted ; and if he would only talk to me as he does to you , Humberton , I would leave this musty old hole for ever , after jolly well punching bis head . But he knows that , and that ' s the reason be doesn't do it for fear of offending Mr . Phane , ancl tbe castigation be would get . Of all the double-distilled old cowards that ever chewed the cud of discontent , irritabilityancl malice Bulliker bears the palm victorious . He is the

, prepense , snarling clog that never bites , ancl for ever barks his shins against other people ' s toes \" "Bravo , Merrisslope . '" shouted Humberton , "Now , for my part , I don't bear tbe fellow any ill-Avill , but I cannot stand his eternal dog , dog , clogging at one for what he knows cannot be had , and his paltry threatenings make me smilewhile I despise the manancl his constant foolery always annoys me

be-, , yond measure ; ancl I ' m not the worst sort to deal with , in fact , I think I am more obliging than the ordinary run of folks , though I don't want to praise myself ; still you'll agree that I'm a mild sort of felloAV . " " Yes , yes , we ' 11 agree to any thing , " acquiesced Merrisslope ; " but let ' s drop the subject , and come and have a ' bitter , ' and drown your teetotalism for once . " "No , thanks , you know my principles , " said Humberton .

" Oh , blow your principles , the principal thing is , I'm awfully dry ! I say , though , what do you say to varnishing' old Bnlliker ' s favourite rulers ; they ' re rather like him in wanting polish ; and then some of . the polish would stick to him , eh ?" " Capital idea , " said Recltaper , " and serve him right too ; I can't bear to see him throwing them across tbe office in such a childish way . " " Very well , then , here goes ; let's all have a band in it , and then nobody ' s clone it , " continued Merrisslope . " Here , Tweedle , you come too , and help to reA'enge yourself . "

Thus they amused themselves at the expense of Mr . Bulliker , in return for his meanness . While they are thus employed , let us look upstairs at Mr . Phane , the employer . A sleek-bodied rather pleasant looking man ; he sits in an easy chair at a comfortable desk . It is early spring ancl a cheerful fire blazes in the ample old-fashioned grate , with an antique carved oaken chimneypiece overhanging it darkly . It gives the room a more furnished appearance ,

however . Robert Phane has seen more than fifty years of life , ancl time has told upon him . He no longer parts bis hair , for that is impossible , but be scrupulously combs his beard , of an iron-grey colour . He has a beneA olent appearance , and his good-nature does not belie it , though he is apt to give way to sharp bursts of temper , for which be is always sorry as soon as they are over . Though sometimes these little storms are severe , you- can always see the

rainbow beaming in the distance , and know that they will soon be gone . He is a particular man and cannot bear an injustice , and now we have given a pretty good p icture of . him as be sits writing at his desk . Letter after letter be passes over with a sigh of relief as he answers them . Suddenly he pauses , and rising up we can see be is about the middle height . BeloAV , there is a miniature battle being carried on , as though an enemy ' s ship were

beingboarded . Applying a speaking tube to bis lips he summons someone from the other office , and Humberton appears . " Are you disengaged tho night after to-morrow ? " asked Mr . Phane . " Yes , sir , I think so , " answered Humberton , rather surprised at the unusual question . " WellthenI ancl my wife and daughter would be glad to see then

, , you at our bouse at six o ' clock to tea ; it is my daughter ' s seventeenth birthday , and we are having a few friends , ancl I should like you to be one of the number if you can make it convenient ; also Mr . Merrisslope and Mr . Recltaper ; will you tell them ? " " Thank you , sir , I will ; I shall be very happy to come , myself , " answered Humberton as be went out .