After All.

time ago I can tell you ; let me see , my mother died soon after , ay , poor old body , I ' m afraid I worried her a bit , but , you know , we are all a bit wilclish in our youth , ancl I shouldn't wonder but what you are not always dressed in your Sunday best , like a parson going to preach a sermon ; ancl they have their slips at times , misdemeanours I think they call them , don't they ? ay , well , and that reminds me how it was I once got into a fearful scrape for ting a cracker

y to a parson ' s tail when I was a lad . " " What , was that when you were a soldier ? " " No ; but wait a bit , let me see , didn't I say something about being a sergeant in the army ; oh yes , so I did ; well , you know , I was just going to tell you about that , when I got talking about my poor old mother , poor creature , and how it was that I often went wrong-likebut let that pass ; let me seeay

, , , well , when I was in the army—ah , yes—I remember there was one chap with a long leg and a short leg ; and that's a curious thing now , when you come to think of it . Why should he have a long and a short leg ? ancl then again how is it there aren ' t more of us with long ancl short legs ? It ' s very funny when you come to look at it , that so many of us should be evenl y made like ; aud yet so it is . Butlet me see;—ohayI was talking about that poor fellow with a

, , , long leg and a short leg who went walking about like a camel ; you know , they walk in long strides with a sort of jump in the middle . " "Tes , yes , I know ; well and this lame fellow , did he play the piano ? " asked Humberton , with a resigned look , waiting for the interminable end to the anecdote . " No , no ; but your playing reminded me of him , poor fellow ; he was killed

in action ; he died on the field of glory at last . " " Well then , I suppose you mean that my playing or composition has a sort of halt at every pulsation ? " "No , no , don't mistake me , I didn't mean that ; but you know I ' m always so long telling a tale , and I must tell it my own way . I make so many digressions , you know ; it ' s my way , and I can't help it . Let me see . " "Aboutthe lame soldier ? " suggessed Humberton , patiently .

" Oh—oh , yes , wait a little bit—wait a lit—tie—bit ; oh , I know , yes ! Well , whenever we were going to a funeral or anything solemn , we couldn't help laughing , all of us , at the way he kept bobbing up ancl down , you know , out of all order , and you know soldiers aren't the most particular kind of folks , especially " "Tes—well ?" " Ohwellas I was going to sayhe always made us laugh when we were

, , , going to a funeral , and when we ought to have been as solemn as possible , like judges with their wigs on , trying a case of murder , but we weren't , and consequently we frequently got into trouble ancl disgrace , and felt ashamed of ourselves , but it was no use " "Tes—well ?"

Well , ob , yes , and when we were marching to a lively tune , his step was out of all proportion , and looked so odd , keeping a sort of three-quarter time , that we all laughed till the tears ran clown our eyes , and we couldn't blow our instruments , and the poor fellow had to go to the rear . " " So my playing reminded you of that , did it ?" " Oh , no , not exactly ; but , you know , that awfully heavy finish does come so mal a propos , as they say , that I couldn't help thinking of my poor old

comrade . It ' s seventeen years next week since he died . " " Shall I alter this end portion , then ? " asked Humberton . " Oh , decidedl y ! Make it lighter , more staccato , and then yon will get the right feeling . " " I can't see why the present solemn chords shouldn't appropriately conclude the march , though , as they stand . " "Oh , but you'll find I ' m correct . I ' ve not been in orchestras and bands all