"A Jiner."

"A JINER . "

SHE was about forty-five years old , well-dressed , had black hair , rather thin and tinged with grey , and eyes in which gleamed the fires of a determination not easily baulked . She walked into Major Huse ' s office ancl requested a private interview , and , having obtained it ancl satisfied herself that the lawstudents were not listening at the key-hole , said , slowly , solemnly , ancl impressively , "I want a divorce . "

"What for ? I supposed yon had one of the best of husbands , " said the Major . " I s ' pose that's what everybody thinks ; but if they knew what I ' ve suffered in ten years they'd wonder I hadn't scalded him long ago . I ought to , but for the sake of the young ones I ' ve borne it and said nothing . I ' ve told him , though , what he might depend on , ancl now the time ' s come ; I won ' t stand it ,

young ones or no young ones : I'll have a divorce , and if the nei ghbours want to blab themselves hoarse about it they can , for I won't stand it another day . " " But what ' s the matter ? Don ' t your husband provide for you ? Don't he treat you kindly ? " pursued the lawyer . "We get victuals enough , and I don't know but he ' s as true and kind as men in general , ancl he ' s never knocked one of us down . I wish he had , then

I'd get him into jail and know where he was nights , " retorted the woman . "Then , what's your complaint against him ? " " Well , if you must know , he ' s one of them plaguey jiners . " " A what ? " " A jiner—one of them pesky fools that ' s always jining something . There can't nothing come along that ' s dark and sly and hidden , but he'd jine it . If anybody should get up a society to burn his house clown , he'd jine it , just as

soon as he could get in ; ancl if he had to pay for it , he'd go all the sudclener . We hadn't been married mor ' n two months before he joined the Know-Nothins . We lived on a farm then , and every Saturday night he comes tearing in before supper , grabs a fistful of nut cakes , ancl goes off gnawing them , and that ' s the last I'd see of him till morning . Ancl every other night he'd roll aud tumble in his bed , and holler in his sleep , ' Put none but Americans on guard—George Washington ; ' ancl rainy days he would go out in the

cornbarn and jab at a picture of the Pope with an old bagnet that was there . I ought to have put my foot clown then , but he fooled me so with his lies about the Popie ' s coming to make all the Tankee girls marry Irishmen , ancl to eat up all the babies that warn ' t born with a cross on their foreheads , that I let him go on , and even encouraged him in it . Then he jined the Masons . P ' raps you know what them be , but I don't ' cept they think they are the same

kind of critters that built Solomon ' s Temple ; and of all the darned nonsense and gab about worshipful masters and square and compasses and sick like that we had in the house for the next six mouths , you never see a beat . And he ' s never out-growed it nuther . What do you think of a man , 'Squire , that'll dress himself in a white apron , 'bout big enough for a monkey ' s bib , and go marching up ancl clown , ancl making motions , and talking the foolish lingo at

a picture of George Washington in a green jacket and a truss on his stomach ? Ain't he a loonytick ? Well , that ' s my Sam , and I ' ve stood it as long as I ' m agoin' to . The next lunge the old fool made was into the Odd Fellers . I made it warm for him when he came home and told me he'd jined them , but he kinder pacified me by tellin' me they had a sort of branch show that took in women , and that he'd get me in as soon as he found out how to do it . Well , one nig ht he come home ancl said I'd been proposed , and somebody had black-