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  • April 1, 1795
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The Freemasons' Magazine, April 1, 1795: Page 44

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    Article THE GREEN ASS. Page 1 of 1
Page 44

Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.

The Green Ass.

THE GREEN ASS .

A CERTAIN ' widow , though pretty much advanced in life , had a mind to many again . As her fortune was very large she thought herself entitled to a young husband ; and accordingly fixed her eyes upon a handsome youth , who had nothing but his personal recommendations to depend upon . She plainly perceived that there would be no difficulty on his part , but she dreaded the censure and ridicule of her neighbours . In this perplexityshe

com-, municated her wishes and alarms to a maiden . sister , who lived in . the house , and possessed an uncommon share of shrewdness arid address for all such occasions . ( ' Sister , " says the amorous widow , " what think you of Leander ! it is surely the picture of my late " husband . Alas 1 I should never have yielded my heart but to this " . irresistible resemblance . What shall I do ! for I am in a dreadful

" consternation about what my neighbours may say of me , being " well acquainted with their malice and cruelty ;—the purest love is " not sheltered from their ill-natured ridicule . Were it not for that , " this dear young man should- —but—r- " ' . * How absurd is all this , " my dear sister ! " replied the other . " Follow your inclinations , " and don't tell me of such foolish fears . You will be ' sung , hooted , " hallooed after , and chalked up , for eight days;—on the ninth , they ( . ' will think no more of you than one thinks of a friend one has

qiiit" ted for three months . That Ass which you see yonder , -Shall , if " you please , impose silence on the whole parish about you the mor' ¦ ning after your nuptials . " " That Ass ! " " Yes , that Ass . Mar" ry , I say , and leave the rest to me and my Ass . " The widow was easily persuaded , and the marriage was concluded , on the credit of the Ass . Dreadful outcry in the parish—rough music before their doors—mot a soft thing could be heard from the mouth of either party

for the noise of kettles ancl frying-pans . In the mean time , the sister had painted the Ass as green as a parrot ; and out rushed the phenomenon , with a triumphant bray , into the midst ofthe crowd . In an instant every kettle and pan was mute , and every soul in the parish crowded round so strange a prodigy . " ¦ A green Ass ! Good " heavens , who could have believed it ! Well , wonders will never ( i

cease . How surprising is Nature in all her operations ! " " I " dreamed , " cries an old woman , " of this very Ass a week ago . I " am sure it betokeneth something bad to our town . A number of % white mice appeared in the same manner just before the plague that " happened in my youth . " Such observations and exclamations as these took place ofthe clamourabout the new-married couple . The green Ass lasted its eight days , and then there was no more curiosity about the green Ass than there had been about the new-married couple ihe moment the Ass appeared .

“The Freemasons' Magazine: 1795-04-01, Page 44” Masonic Periodicals Online, Library and Museum of Freemasonry, 28 May 2025, django:8000/periodicals/fmm/issues/fmm_01041795/page/44/.
  • List
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Title Category Page
THE FREEMASONS' MAGAZINE, OR GENERAL AND COMPLETE LIBRARY' Article 1
TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES, Article 1
ESSAY ON PRUDENCE. Article 2
Untitled Article 3
A SERMON PREACHED BEFORE THE GRAND LODGE OF THE MOST ANCIENT AND HONOURABLE FRATERNITY Article 8
THE FREEMASON. No. IV. Article 12
STORY OF URBAIN GRANDIER. Article 16
BASEM; OR, THE BLACKSMITH. AN ORIENTAL APOLOGUE. Article 23
THOUGHTS ON SLEEP. Article 31
ACCOUNT AND DESCRIPTION OF THE CHAPEL OF ROSLIN, &c. Article 32
AUTHENTIC ANECDOTE. Article 37
SUMMARY OF ALL THE ARGUMENTS FOR AND AGAINST RICHARD BROTHERS. Article 38
ON THE DEPOPULATING INFLUENCE OF WAR. Article 42
ANECDOTE OF THE LATE KING OF PRUSSIA. Article 43
THE GREEN ASS. Article 44
ACCOUNT OF A CASK IN THE CASTLE OF KONIGSTEIN, Article 45
CURIOUS PARTICULARS RELATING TO THE ISLAND OF MALTA. Article 46
ON AVARICE. Article 47
THE HANDSOME MAN AND UGLY WIFE : Article 47
PARLIAMENTARY PROCEEDINGS. Article 48
POETRY. Article 56
ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF BROTHER JOHN MILLS, COMEDIAN, OF THE THEATRE ROYAL, HULL. Article 57
THE KISS. Article 58
ON DESPAIR. Article 59
TO INDIFFERENCE : A RHAPSODY. Article 59
ODE TO AN ASS, Article 60
STRICTURES ON PUBLIC AMUSEMENTS. Article 62
MASONIC INTELLIGENCE. Article 67
MONTHLY CHRONICLE. Article 68
BANKRUPTS. Article 71
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Page 44

Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.

The Green Ass.

THE GREEN ASS .

A CERTAIN ' widow , though pretty much advanced in life , had a mind to many again . As her fortune was very large she thought herself entitled to a young husband ; and accordingly fixed her eyes upon a handsome youth , who had nothing but his personal recommendations to depend upon . She plainly perceived that there would be no difficulty on his part , but she dreaded the censure and ridicule of her neighbours . In this perplexityshe

com-, municated her wishes and alarms to a maiden . sister , who lived in . the house , and possessed an uncommon share of shrewdness arid address for all such occasions . ( ' Sister , " says the amorous widow , " what think you of Leander ! it is surely the picture of my late " husband . Alas 1 I should never have yielded my heart but to this " . irresistible resemblance . What shall I do ! for I am in a dreadful

" consternation about what my neighbours may say of me , being " well acquainted with their malice and cruelty ;—the purest love is " not sheltered from their ill-natured ridicule . Were it not for that , " this dear young man should- —but—r- " ' . * How absurd is all this , " my dear sister ! " replied the other . " Follow your inclinations , " and don't tell me of such foolish fears . You will be ' sung , hooted , " hallooed after , and chalked up , for eight days;—on the ninth , they ( . ' will think no more of you than one thinks of a friend one has

qiiit" ted for three months . That Ass which you see yonder , -Shall , if " you please , impose silence on the whole parish about you the mor' ¦ ning after your nuptials . " " That Ass ! " " Yes , that Ass . Mar" ry , I say , and leave the rest to me and my Ass . " The widow was easily persuaded , and the marriage was concluded , on the credit of the Ass . Dreadful outcry in the parish—rough music before their doors—mot a soft thing could be heard from the mouth of either party

for the noise of kettles ancl frying-pans . In the mean time , the sister had painted the Ass as green as a parrot ; and out rushed the phenomenon , with a triumphant bray , into the midst ofthe crowd . In an instant every kettle and pan was mute , and every soul in the parish crowded round so strange a prodigy . " ¦ A green Ass ! Good " heavens , who could have believed it ! Well , wonders will never ( i

cease . How surprising is Nature in all her operations ! " " I " dreamed , " cries an old woman , " of this very Ass a week ago . I " am sure it betokeneth something bad to our town . A number of % white mice appeared in the same manner just before the plague that " happened in my youth . " Such observations and exclamations as these took place ofthe clamourabout the new-married couple . The green Ass lasted its eight days , and then there was no more curiosity about the green Ass than there had been about the new-married couple ihe moment the Ass appeared .

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