-
Articles/Ads
Article UNDER THE GARLAND. ← Page 7 of 8 →
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
Under The Garland.
was in opposition to Wreath ' s . I fancy I had a curious illustration of this the other day . Entering the rival establishment , I called for modest refreshment by a term technical to the other "house . " " Unsweetened , " I requested of the grave tapster . Now , he was an aged servitor , if you like . Why , it was only a Aveek or two ago—you see I must digress—I observed the announcement of his decease in the obituary of the Times . "At What-you-may-call-it's Wine and Spirit Establishment , Ancientport ,
William So-and-so , aged ninety odd , for over three quarters of a century the faithful servant and friend of the firm of Spigot and Son . " * Well , William put me down at once for using an euphuism , Avith the plain and unsophisticated utterance , "Gin ? Dutch gin , sir . We don't keep English gin . " From which I opine that when the Princel y Deliverer crossed over from the land of canoes , canards , canals , and canaille , Spigot and Son bade high for the custom of the Ancientport radicals by purveying pure Hollands , and I daresay stuck an orange here and there conspicuously in the bar , not to be squeezed , j
There , once sat on the bench of our beloved country a very eminent judge , Aidio , during a solemn trial at assizes , disturbed the decorous sdence of the court by a sudden command to the usher to " remove that man in the gallery—the man in the nankeen trousers . " The unfortunate individual thus conspicuously indicated was incontinently hustled out . Learned Queen ' s Counsel proceeded Avith his prosy exercitation , Avhen - —some twenty minutes afterwards—this remarkable utterance was ejaculated per cur :
"Brother Bore ' em , I am sorry to interrupt you , but , I wish to observe—NOT THAT I OBJECT TO NANKEEN TROUSERS ! " The remark was wholly inexplicable . It has never been explained to this day . The eminent and learned magistrate carried the solution with him , and it was buried in his grave . : Now , I don't object to beer . I don't drink it , it is true , but I have no prejudice against it . On the contrary , I like it . I have forsAyorn it many years , but sometimes , in the dark hours , of the night , I Avake from a delirious dream of quaffing the foaming nectar from a metal vessel , and—but then that is nothing to do with the "Garland , " where , as I have said , they don't sell beer—and , so , let me resume .
I was seduced into this malt-and-hop digression while tracing the history of the " Garland " during the reign of " Brandy Nan ' s" dour brother-in-law . Early in that -reign , as I have before observed , that eminent free vintner—Wreath—died . Had he lived he would have seen his nei ghbour and fellow cit ., Sir John Friend—the Aldgate breAverhaled away to NeAvgate , and might have beheld him " going up Holborn Hill in a cart , " on that last sad journey to Tyburn , and might have inspected—through a spying-glass—
the fee for the hire of which from the peripatetic owner would probably have been no more than one halfpenny—his ghastly physiognomy spiked above ugly old Temple Bar before mentioned ; but ere the Friend and Parkins " assassination plot" had been detected Wreath had gone to his rest , and another proprietor of the " Garland , " a Pharaoh who knew not Joseph , reigned in his stead . It is , however , more than probable that , had the sainted Wreath remained alive and—kicking , I Avas going to say—and
dra-wing , he Avould have owned to but a very qualified interest in the fate of a fellow Avho lived by brewing and selling that gross beverage , plebeian vulgar beer , and presumed to evince political predilections in common with "free vintners" Avho were privileged to make fortunes by vending strong waters and generous Avine . I have almost brought the "Garland" down to contemporaneous times . A word or two more to bridge over the interval . I have been told that in that great rush into the
city to see old Lovat lay his scoundrelly grey skull on the block in ' 46 , Wreath ' s turned a pretty penny . I have heard that in the riots of ' 80 , the good ship " Garland " was . under the command of a skipper bearing the historical Christian name of Sacheverell , which fixes the worth y drawer ' s age as being at that date about 69 , for the notorious High Church rector of St . Andrew ' s , Holborn , supplied numbers of infants Avith baptismal cognomens , in other fashion than conferring them at the font , at the time
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
Under The Garland.
was in opposition to Wreath ' s . I fancy I had a curious illustration of this the other day . Entering the rival establishment , I called for modest refreshment by a term technical to the other "house . " " Unsweetened , " I requested of the grave tapster . Now , he was an aged servitor , if you like . Why , it was only a Aveek or two ago—you see I must digress—I observed the announcement of his decease in the obituary of the Times . "At What-you-may-call-it's Wine and Spirit Establishment , Ancientport ,
William So-and-so , aged ninety odd , for over three quarters of a century the faithful servant and friend of the firm of Spigot and Son . " * Well , William put me down at once for using an euphuism , Avith the plain and unsophisticated utterance , "Gin ? Dutch gin , sir . We don't keep English gin . " From which I opine that when the Princel y Deliverer crossed over from the land of canoes , canards , canals , and canaille , Spigot and Son bade high for the custom of the Ancientport radicals by purveying pure Hollands , and I daresay stuck an orange here and there conspicuously in the bar , not to be squeezed , j
There , once sat on the bench of our beloved country a very eminent judge , Aidio , during a solemn trial at assizes , disturbed the decorous sdence of the court by a sudden command to the usher to " remove that man in the gallery—the man in the nankeen trousers . " The unfortunate individual thus conspicuously indicated was incontinently hustled out . Learned Queen ' s Counsel proceeded Avith his prosy exercitation , Avhen - —some twenty minutes afterwards—this remarkable utterance was ejaculated per cur :
"Brother Bore ' em , I am sorry to interrupt you , but , I wish to observe—NOT THAT I OBJECT TO NANKEEN TROUSERS ! " The remark was wholly inexplicable . It has never been explained to this day . The eminent and learned magistrate carried the solution with him , and it was buried in his grave . : Now , I don't object to beer . I don't drink it , it is true , but I have no prejudice against it . On the contrary , I like it . I have forsAyorn it many years , but sometimes , in the dark hours , of the night , I Avake from a delirious dream of quaffing the foaming nectar from a metal vessel , and—but then that is nothing to do with the "Garland , " where , as I have said , they don't sell beer—and , so , let me resume .
I was seduced into this malt-and-hop digression while tracing the history of the " Garland " during the reign of " Brandy Nan ' s" dour brother-in-law . Early in that -reign , as I have before observed , that eminent free vintner—Wreath—died . Had he lived he would have seen his nei ghbour and fellow cit ., Sir John Friend—the Aldgate breAverhaled away to NeAvgate , and might have beheld him " going up Holborn Hill in a cart , " on that last sad journey to Tyburn , and might have inspected—through a spying-glass—
the fee for the hire of which from the peripatetic owner would probably have been no more than one halfpenny—his ghastly physiognomy spiked above ugly old Temple Bar before mentioned ; but ere the Friend and Parkins " assassination plot" had been detected Wreath had gone to his rest , and another proprietor of the " Garland , " a Pharaoh who knew not Joseph , reigned in his stead . It is , however , more than probable that , had the sainted Wreath remained alive and—kicking , I Avas going to say—and
dra-wing , he Avould have owned to but a very qualified interest in the fate of a fellow Avho lived by brewing and selling that gross beverage , plebeian vulgar beer , and presumed to evince political predilections in common with "free vintners" Avho were privileged to make fortunes by vending strong waters and generous Avine . I have almost brought the "Garland" down to contemporaneous times . A word or two more to bridge over the interval . I have been told that in that great rush into the
city to see old Lovat lay his scoundrelly grey skull on the block in ' 46 , Wreath ' s turned a pretty penny . I have heard that in the riots of ' 80 , the good ship " Garland " was . under the command of a skipper bearing the historical Christian name of Sacheverell , which fixes the worth y drawer ' s age as being at that date about 69 , for the notorious High Church rector of St . Andrew ' s , Holborn , supplied numbers of infants Avith baptismal cognomens , in other fashion than conferring them at the font , at the time