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Article A LONDON ADVENTURE: ← Page 3 of 6 →
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
A London Adventure:
of the room . "Cant even get a little Scotch whiskey ' ere . I went into a place just below 'ere , ancl , because I very naturally mistook the landlord for the ivaiter , I ivas insulted . 'Ow should I know ? " said the injured unsophisticated Englishman . "I saw a man standing
there with an hapron on , and says I , ' Waiter , bring me some Scotch whiskey and ' ot Avater , and he swelled up and said , ' I ' m not the ivaiter ; I'll ' ave you to knoAV I ' m not the Avaiter ; I'm the landlord !'" " ' All the same' said I . ' I thought you
, Avas , and I Avant some Avhiskey . ' " ' But you can ' ave no Avhiskey ' ere ; I'll not be called a Avaiter in my own 'ouse . ' So I told him to go to the devil ancl left the room ; " and the ingenuous creature appealed to me if it Avas not a
shame and an outrage , and I replied that it most assuredly Avas . "I wonder if they know ' ow to treat strangers any better ' ere , " he said , looking about the room .
Just then a waiter appeared , and the beloved "' ot Scotch" was soon before him . He Avas a fine specimen of a young Englishman , with a rouud , fresh face , bright eyes , full rosy lips , a beard that had wanted the razor for three or four days ,
and withal an expression singularly boyish and ingenuous . He was well dressed in gray cheviot clothes , and Avore the inevitable stove-pipe hat . " It ' s the first time I've been up to London , and I ' ope it ' s the last , " he continued .
" I ' ve seen enough of it . " Just here the German re-appeared , and Avas presently as interested as I Avas in the new arrival upon the scene , Avhom the Scotch whiskey Avas making more and more garrulous and confidential . AVith the utmost naivete he went on to complain how queerly he had been treated in London .
" I did not get through my business till day before yesterday , when I thought before I left town , and as my case in court had come out so well that I Avould go out ancl ' ave a little jollification . Mr . So-andso , our laAvyer , made me give him most of my money before I went out ; but I kept back a feAv bank notes that he clid ' nt know I ' ad . As I was walking on the Strand a lady came rushing up to me and said ;
"' 'Ow hare you , Mr . Jones ?' "' Pretty near it , ' said I . ' My name is not Jones , but it ' s Johnson . All the same ; no harm clone , Miss , ' aud ivas going on , when she said :
" ' Is that the way you leave a lady ? " 'Leave a lady ? ' said I , a deal surprised at her manner . " ' Yes , ' said she , ' leave a lady ; that is not the ivay Mr . Jones would do . ' " ' Pray , how would Mr . Jones do ?' said I .
<< ' AVhy , he would have taken me in and treated me to a bottle of wine . ' " ' Oh ; if that's all , you shall 'ave two bottles , ' said I . ' Come on . ' " ' So we went into a place there , ancl blow me if she did'nt drink nearly two bottles of wine . I was amazed ; I never
saw a lady drink so , ancl they charged me outrageously for the wine , —a guinea for the two bottles . AVhy , our wine at ' ome don't cost us half that .
"Ihen she asked me to take her to some rooms . I forget the name ; it began with ha , —Hargyle Rooms ; that ' s it , and as I did ' nt mind having a little fun ancl not to refuse a lady , said I , ' Come on , ' and aivay ive ivent . " Gentlemen , " said the innocent creature
, " you are strangers to me , but I trust you'll never mention what I am now telling you ; I ivould ' nt have my sister Mary know it for a hundred pound . " We assured him he need have no fear of usand urged him to proceed .
, " While at the Hargyle , " resumed he , " the girl ( for I am convinced she ivas not a lady ) Avauted me to dance Avith her , but I could not dance , so she danced Avith two or three other gentlemen , and then came to me and asked me to get her a pair of
gloves . I thought this a little hodd , but offered 'er ' alf a crown , and told 'er to get them 'erself . This she refused ; said she never paid less than a erown for her gloves ;¦ Avould'nt be seen with a pair that cost only ' alf a crown ; and , as I did not
like to appear mean , I said , ' Come out with me , you shall 'ave the gloves . ' I gave her a sovereign , ancl she told me to wait outside Avhile she went in the shop ancl got the gloves . I paced up and doivn in front of the place for ' alf an hour , and then went in to see Avhat ' ad become of her , and get my change . The shop-girl
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
A London Adventure:
of the room . "Cant even get a little Scotch whiskey ' ere . I went into a place just below 'ere , ancl , because I very naturally mistook the landlord for the ivaiter , I ivas insulted . 'Ow should I know ? " said the injured unsophisticated Englishman . "I saw a man standing
there with an hapron on , and says I , ' Waiter , bring me some Scotch whiskey and ' ot Avater , and he swelled up and said , ' I ' m not the ivaiter ; I'll ' ave you to knoAV I ' m not the Avaiter ; I'm the landlord !'" " ' All the same' said I . ' I thought you
, Avas , and I Avant some Avhiskey . ' " ' But you can ' ave no Avhiskey ' ere ; I'll not be called a Avaiter in my own 'ouse . ' So I told him to go to the devil ancl left the room ; " and the ingenuous creature appealed to me if it Avas not a
shame and an outrage , and I replied that it most assuredly Avas . "I wonder if they know ' ow to treat strangers any better ' ere , " he said , looking about the room .
Just then a waiter appeared , and the beloved "' ot Scotch" was soon before him . He Avas a fine specimen of a young Englishman , with a rouud , fresh face , bright eyes , full rosy lips , a beard that had wanted the razor for three or four days ,
and withal an expression singularly boyish and ingenuous . He was well dressed in gray cheviot clothes , and Avore the inevitable stove-pipe hat . " It ' s the first time I've been up to London , and I ' ope it ' s the last , " he continued .
" I ' ve seen enough of it . " Just here the German re-appeared , and Avas presently as interested as I Avas in the new arrival upon the scene , Avhom the Scotch whiskey Avas making more and more garrulous and confidential . AVith the utmost naivete he went on to complain how queerly he had been treated in London .
" I did not get through my business till day before yesterday , when I thought before I left town , and as my case in court had come out so well that I Avould go out ancl ' ave a little jollification . Mr . So-andso , our laAvyer , made me give him most of my money before I went out ; but I kept back a feAv bank notes that he clid ' nt know I ' ad . As I was walking on the Strand a lady came rushing up to me and said ;
"' 'Ow hare you , Mr . Jones ?' "' Pretty near it , ' said I . ' My name is not Jones , but it ' s Johnson . All the same ; no harm clone , Miss , ' aud ivas going on , when she said :
" ' Is that the way you leave a lady ? " 'Leave a lady ? ' said I , a deal surprised at her manner . " ' Yes , ' said she , ' leave a lady ; that is not the ivay Mr . Jones would do . ' " ' Pray , how would Mr . Jones do ?' said I .
<< ' AVhy , he would have taken me in and treated me to a bottle of wine . ' " ' Oh ; if that's all , you shall 'ave two bottles , ' said I . ' Come on . ' " ' So we went into a place there , ancl blow me if she did'nt drink nearly two bottles of wine . I was amazed ; I never
saw a lady drink so , ancl they charged me outrageously for the wine , —a guinea for the two bottles . AVhy , our wine at ' ome don't cost us half that .
"Ihen she asked me to take her to some rooms . I forget the name ; it began with ha , —Hargyle Rooms ; that ' s it , and as I did ' nt mind having a little fun ancl not to refuse a lady , said I , ' Come on , ' and aivay ive ivent . " Gentlemen , " said the innocent creature
, " you are strangers to me , but I trust you'll never mention what I am now telling you ; I ivould ' nt have my sister Mary know it for a hundred pound . " We assured him he need have no fear of usand urged him to proceed .
, " While at the Hargyle , " resumed he , " the girl ( for I am convinced she ivas not a lady ) Avauted me to dance Avith her , but I could not dance , so she danced Avith two or three other gentlemen , and then came to me and asked me to get her a pair of
gloves . I thought this a little hodd , but offered 'er ' alf a crown , and told 'er to get them 'erself . This she refused ; said she never paid less than a erown for her gloves ;¦ Avould'nt be seen with a pair that cost only ' alf a crown ; and , as I did not
like to appear mean , I said , ' Come out with me , you shall 'ave the gloves . ' I gave her a sovereign , ancl she told me to wait outside Avhile she went in the shop ancl got the gloves . I paced up and doivn in front of the place for ' alf an hour , and then went in to see Avhat ' ad become of her , and get my change . The shop-girl