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Article HUMAN NATURE. ← Page 3 of 3 Article HUMAN NATURE. Page 3 of 3 Article OYSTERS. Page 1 of 3 →
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
Human Nature.
to pay for every lost or missing article , from an orange to an ox . Agents and spies surround me continually . Then the Custom .-llou . se officers are leagued against me . They won ' t let mo take the least thing ashore . Why , I'd rather be a fireman in the engine-room than be watched
and badgered the way I am . The chief steward , I'll venture to say , makes more in one voyage , by his little trading , than I do in a whole year . Nobody noses around his operations , and ho makes a good thing out of it ; but there ' s nothing but drudgery
and iinpecuniosity ahead for me . " Bl y friend was growing a little excited , and I thought it prudent to leave him . The next day the chief steward happened to be in my room , and ! couldn ' t resist the temptation to tackle . To 1113 ' -
astonishment , his cornplaiuts were fully as bitter as those of his predecessors . " No , sir ! " he exclaimed . " I ' m the last man on the ship that ' s making a dollar . "Wh y , bless you , twenty years ago , when I was a common waiter—then was the time
for the chief stewards . Then they bought all the meat , fruits , vegetables , provisions , linen and bedding for the steamers , and they could charge double prices without being questioned , I recollect a case where a chief steward , in one vcyage charged seventeen quarters of beef to the ship that were never delivered . Just think of that .
But the thing was overdone , and now the broth is spoiled entirely . I ' ve been on this ship many years , but I think I'll g ive it up before long , and settle down in a shanty at 'Frisco . "
I confess that I was by this time somewhat bewildered . Everybody looked round , fat and contented ; everybody seemed to be in high clover ; eveiybody thought everybody else but himself was making money ; and yet each one vigorously protested that he was being rapidly
reduced to beggary . I determined to grapple with the problem before me with redoubled energy . I assailed the surgeon , the frei ght clerk , the second and third officers , the assistant engineers , the quartermastersthe butcherthe cooksand even
, , , Jack Tar himself . The result was the same in every instance . I evoked nothing but doleful and despairing responses . In a fit of desperation I cornered a Chinaman . " Here , " I thought , " is an unlettered
Human Nature.
heathen . He will teach to his more civilized brethren the virtues of patience and contentment . I demanded his opinion on the subject of my investigations . " Heap licee , " he sighed , " but
Chinaman no can catch heap dollar . Company no good . No hab heap dollar for poor Chinaman . White man catchee all . " When that same steamer was ready to put to sea again , my curiosity prompted me to step aboard a moment to see how
many of its late crew had abandoned seafaring ways in quest of ploasanter fortunes on shore . To my surprise I found every one of them ( the Chinaman included ) at their old posts again , mid actually impatient to be out of port and once more ploughing the bounding waters . Such is human nature .
Oysters.
OYSTERS .
LET no Oyster-loving brother infer from the above title that I shall tell him how to get his Oyster lunches cheaper next season , or that I am about to give statistics of Oyster breeding , with long tables to show that they ought to be more easily
produced , and consequentl y , cheaper . I have heard from very good authority that Natives will be dearer than ever this season ; therefore , let those who can afford , eat them , and pay—and those who cannot afford—well—let them grumble .
The brotherhood is not , I think , altogether insensible to the charms of an Oyster when properly displayed ; therefore , I have ventured to give a short account ot how they 'ire dredged , which may possibly interest those individuals , should such exist , who do not know whether they are caught with a hook , or dug out of a potato field .
While staying in a small town on the Kentish coast , where one of the largest Oyster companies reigns supreme , and having some interest iu the company , I was allowed to go dredging with them , a favour not permitted to strangers . One
morning nearly at the end of March I was called up about sunrise , and after a careful toilet ( for an Oyster dredgerman has to bestow a great deal of care on his dress for a rough day , if he expects to keep a dry skin ) , I find myself enveloped in Sou-
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
Human Nature.
to pay for every lost or missing article , from an orange to an ox . Agents and spies surround me continually . Then the Custom .-llou . se officers are leagued against me . They won ' t let mo take the least thing ashore . Why , I'd rather be a fireman in the engine-room than be watched
and badgered the way I am . The chief steward , I'll venture to say , makes more in one voyage , by his little trading , than I do in a whole year . Nobody noses around his operations , and ho makes a good thing out of it ; but there ' s nothing but drudgery
and iinpecuniosity ahead for me . " Bl y friend was growing a little excited , and I thought it prudent to leave him . The next day the chief steward happened to be in my room , and ! couldn ' t resist the temptation to tackle . To 1113 ' -
astonishment , his cornplaiuts were fully as bitter as those of his predecessors . " No , sir ! " he exclaimed . " I ' m the last man on the ship that ' s making a dollar . "Wh y , bless you , twenty years ago , when I was a common waiter—then was the time
for the chief stewards . Then they bought all the meat , fruits , vegetables , provisions , linen and bedding for the steamers , and they could charge double prices without being questioned , I recollect a case where a chief steward , in one vcyage charged seventeen quarters of beef to the ship that were never delivered . Just think of that .
But the thing was overdone , and now the broth is spoiled entirely . I ' ve been on this ship many years , but I think I'll g ive it up before long , and settle down in a shanty at 'Frisco . "
I confess that I was by this time somewhat bewildered . Everybody looked round , fat and contented ; everybody seemed to be in high clover ; eveiybody thought everybody else but himself was making money ; and yet each one vigorously protested that he was being rapidly
reduced to beggary . I determined to grapple with the problem before me with redoubled energy . I assailed the surgeon , the frei ght clerk , the second and third officers , the assistant engineers , the quartermastersthe butcherthe cooksand even
, , , Jack Tar himself . The result was the same in every instance . I evoked nothing but doleful and despairing responses . In a fit of desperation I cornered a Chinaman . " Here , " I thought , " is an unlettered
Human Nature.
heathen . He will teach to his more civilized brethren the virtues of patience and contentment . I demanded his opinion on the subject of my investigations . " Heap licee , " he sighed , " but
Chinaman no can catch heap dollar . Company no good . No hab heap dollar for poor Chinaman . White man catchee all . " When that same steamer was ready to put to sea again , my curiosity prompted me to step aboard a moment to see how
many of its late crew had abandoned seafaring ways in quest of ploasanter fortunes on shore . To my surprise I found every one of them ( the Chinaman included ) at their old posts again , mid actually impatient to be out of port and once more ploughing the bounding waters . Such is human nature .
Oysters.
OYSTERS .
LET no Oyster-loving brother infer from the above title that I shall tell him how to get his Oyster lunches cheaper next season , or that I am about to give statistics of Oyster breeding , with long tables to show that they ought to be more easily
produced , and consequentl y , cheaper . I have heard from very good authority that Natives will be dearer than ever this season ; therefore , let those who can afford , eat them , and pay—and those who cannot afford—well—let them grumble .
The brotherhood is not , I think , altogether insensible to the charms of an Oyster when properly displayed ; therefore , I have ventured to give a short account ot how they 'ire dredged , which may possibly interest those individuals , should such exist , who do not know whether they are caught with a hook , or dug out of a potato field .
While staying in a small town on the Kentish coast , where one of the largest Oyster companies reigns supreme , and having some interest iu the company , I was allowed to go dredging with them , a favour not permitted to strangers . One
morning nearly at the end of March I was called up about sunrise , and after a careful toilet ( for an Oyster dredgerman has to bestow a great deal of care on his dress for a rough day , if he expects to keep a dry skin ) , I find myself enveloped in Sou-