Beatrice.

women here . They have often appeared to me like the Sphinx of Egypt , buried in tbe sand and the mystery of ages , or like the oracle at Delphi , which , as you know , ahvays said one thing and meant another . " " All ! " replied Brummer , " vat is tbe use of complaining about de womans . She is just vat she is and vat she ever will be— -the most curious of dis earth ' s creatures . Whether you take her in youth or middle age or old ageit is

, always the same . She is still , as de French so elegantly and wittil y put it , ' unpayable , ' both in what she says and Ai'hat she thinks , ivhat she does ancl AA'hat she does not do . What a warning , my dear Mr . Miller , " added Brummer slily , ancl laughing heartily , " is clere against hasty , unadvised , ancl ill-assorted marriages . " Old Mr . Miller responded nothing to this tirade , but Avent on smoking

calmly , ancl only put doAvn his cigar in an amber tube to take another pinch of snuff . But Twamley , AVIIO saw an opportunity , here burst in in full cry and great geniality . " By-the-way , Brummer , " he said , " you promised us a dissertation on matrimony in general and on happy marriages in particular . Let us have it , old boy . There are a great many sentimental goslings here" ( think of the

cheek of this young man , kind reader ) " by whom your philosophy is greatly needed and to ivhom your sage advice will be very acceptable . For no one can talk like you , Brummer , when once ' the tap is turned on , ' ancl no one has more experience in human affairs or the condition of happiness and unhappiness in this sublunary scene . " My readers will again notice the full force , in these simple Avords , of

sarcasm ancl flattery combined . " Veil , " replied Brummer , " I will give you all a little bit of my mind , and I hope , Master Twamley , it will do yon ancl the rest of the company present , to whom I looks most pleasantly , much good . " " So mote it be \ " said Twamley , who ii'as a distinguished member of the Masonic fraternity , and had a great regard for that old ancl poetic and sympathetic response .

" It is a very serious thing , " hegan Brummer , in solemn tones , " to contemplate the married state . " ( Here all the young men laughed out . ) "Yes , you may laugh , but you may find out before long , as they say in my Vaterland , ' Meiue hen-en , ' dat matrimony , like a good many other things in this world , is ' much cry ancl little wool . ' You Morley , you Lacey , you Tivahiley , ancl yon young men all , are like young bears with your sorroivs before you . Yes , eA'en in matrimonyas in all Avorlcllthings will find dat clere are

yes ; , y , you more 'bitters than siveets ' , that there are more 'kicks than half-pence , ' ancl dat you will all have to ' eat a peck of dirt before you die . ' " The company grew here more reserved and gloomy , the smoke got clearer , ancl the consumption of mystic compounds more decided . " It is indeed , " continued Brummer , " l'ery alarming to contemplate matrimony " per se " in its normal state and absolute condition men . Let us

among take this illustration of marriage just IIOAV . What clo you see ? A couple of people fancy they are in love , from motives of self delusion , passion , or interest , ancl they are a nuisance to their friends , ancl a bore to one another . Indeed , such an affliction and infliction are they , that de clay of marriage is hurried on by mutual consent , to put an end to a period of nonsense , and weakness , and spooning , which betrays the irresistible tendencies of a hopeless mortality , ancl loAver himself to

man a position incompatible ivith philosophy and wisdom . " Ancl here Brummer looked round for applause , aud put on a most sagacious look , but no applause came , and , amid a mute and listening assembly , the great orator thus jiroceeded .. "Well , these two geese are dul y married , as my friend Trollope says in one of his best works , with a ' cloud of curates , ' ancl then vat next ? Do you think dat I wish to disclose the ' aporrohi' of the honeymoon ? Certainly not ,