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Article LONDON PLATITUDES. ← Page 7 of 13 →
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
London Platitudes.
appeared to imagine that the proofs of his title to his post rested in his officiousness , for his affection was almost overpowering as he grasped me by the collar ; and he would not only have wrested away my parapktie , but also divested me of my coat , if I had not , with some decision , quelled his zeal . Before I could look at himaway was some
, precious article of my furniture . His great mutton-fisted grasp w as hovering about me , raging with an inveteracy that nothing- seemed likely to assuage but my entire demolition . First my hat was engorged , then my gloves seemed , almost , to dive down his gullet ; my great coat confused him for a momentbut from that he recoveredandlike a giant
re-, , , freshed , he was hungrily looking about for more , to satisfy the cravings of this bearish or rather this hyena-like good-nature , when my host appeared , and rescued me from the rending of his pitilessly-hospitable serving-man . At all times the approaches to a dining-room are a trying matter , but this man
made mine a regular Dardanelles of calamity to me . Thank heaven , I was rid of him at last ! These ferocious footmen are really an insupportable social nuisance . Masters need well look to it . They may be assured it is not only sufficient to have a footman , but to be convinced that he is one of the orthodox soft-stepping and
blandlyassisting order . There cannot be " more of offence " in anything than in a fellow ' s perpetually whisking about one as if his hands were hot , fidgeting , breathing hard in your face , lifting one foot after another off the floor as if it were hot , snorting like a rampaging horse , and verily suffering agonies , as well as inflicting them , in his clumsy attempts to be
obliging and well-bred . One is sometimes pulled to pieces in these well-meant but overpowering attentions , and it is but an unpleasant introduction to a man ' s drawing-room to have previously suffered a martyrdom in his hall or vestibule , through the officious good offices of a clownish domestic , albeit ruddily-visaged only through his natural good humour and his anxiety to oblige .
Salutations exchanged , I mounted the stairs , preceded by my friend , who threw open his drawing-room door and announced me with : — " My dear , here is Mr . Hargrave Jennings come to see you . " " And I am very happy to see Mm , " said the lady advancing . " Really I esteem it something of a charity to be visited at this time of year , Mr . Jennings , when everybody is
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
London Platitudes.
appeared to imagine that the proofs of his title to his post rested in his officiousness , for his affection was almost overpowering as he grasped me by the collar ; and he would not only have wrested away my parapktie , but also divested me of my coat , if I had not , with some decision , quelled his zeal . Before I could look at himaway was some
, precious article of my furniture . His great mutton-fisted grasp w as hovering about me , raging with an inveteracy that nothing- seemed likely to assuage but my entire demolition . First my hat was engorged , then my gloves seemed , almost , to dive down his gullet ; my great coat confused him for a momentbut from that he recoveredandlike a giant
re-, , , freshed , he was hungrily looking about for more , to satisfy the cravings of this bearish or rather this hyena-like good-nature , when my host appeared , and rescued me from the rending of his pitilessly-hospitable serving-man . At all times the approaches to a dining-room are a trying matter , but this man
made mine a regular Dardanelles of calamity to me . Thank heaven , I was rid of him at last ! These ferocious footmen are really an insupportable social nuisance . Masters need well look to it . They may be assured it is not only sufficient to have a footman , but to be convinced that he is one of the orthodox soft-stepping and
blandlyassisting order . There cannot be " more of offence " in anything than in a fellow ' s perpetually whisking about one as if his hands were hot , fidgeting , breathing hard in your face , lifting one foot after another off the floor as if it were hot , snorting like a rampaging horse , and verily suffering agonies , as well as inflicting them , in his clumsy attempts to be
obliging and well-bred . One is sometimes pulled to pieces in these well-meant but overpowering attentions , and it is but an unpleasant introduction to a man ' s drawing-room to have previously suffered a martyrdom in his hall or vestibule , through the officious good offices of a clownish domestic , albeit ruddily-visaged only through his natural good humour and his anxiety to oblige .
Salutations exchanged , I mounted the stairs , preceded by my friend , who threw open his drawing-room door and announced me with : — " My dear , here is Mr . Hargrave Jennings come to see you . " " And I am very happy to see Mm , " said the lady advancing . " Really I esteem it something of a charity to be visited at this time of year , Mr . Jennings , when everybody is