Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
The Loving Cup: Or, How The Dustmen Were Diddled.
in the tomb ( I bought a handy bit of ground at Norwood for the purpose , aud I have the stonemason ' s receipt for the monument ready to be fixed ) , and feel the proud consciousness that , at the Dustmen ' s Annual Dinner , a solemn toast will be given forth by the toastmast ' er , and numberless Dustmen yet to come will pledge—ha ! ha !¦—my sacred memory in the best of old port wine , in duly befitting silence , and a potent peal will be performed on the sacred bell of that noble Society . I—will it be believed ?—though now so morose and grumpywas once a happy
, youth , and ruffled it with the best . I was once foremost in all sports that may become a man ; my football practice is still remembered among the few contemporaries who still growl with me at my antiquated chophouse at the innovations of the time . If I am a curmudgeon , at any rate , I glory in it , and who can interfere with me ? I should like to see 'em , that ' s all .
Now—the curtains are drawn—there ' s no one likely to come to-night , so I can draw forth some of my treasures . Ann Eliza Jane , my handmaid , has brought up the hot water , and the rum bottle is ready to my hand . Some people say rum isn't healthy : I say that's a mistake . Bum ! why , rum is the best of spirits . Add to the sugar and water a proper slice of lemon , ancl yon have a drink fit for the gods ; and if fit for themsufficiently good for an old worn-out Commission Agent . SoJohn Hector
, , Movis , here ' s your jolly good health , my boy , and a pleasant nap ! This old glass cup before me has seen many a good stoup of liquor in it ; and when it is handed round among the United Dustmen , may it do them at least half the good it does me . I ' m afraid I ' ve made it strong ; but I ' m not afraid of gout ; and as for twinges of conscience , they may whistle for 'em . Catch a Commission Agent with a conscience—ha ! ha ! Chrhm 1 chrhni ! ehrhm !
Did the foregoing soliloquy really emanate from the brain of John Hector Movis , or not ? It matters little for our present purpose . John Hector Movis had in the course of his life clone a great number of kind things ; but he liked to be a curmudgeon , ancl would grow red in the face and angry if you hinted he was anything else . Ho was given to soliloquy ; for he was so utterly alone that no one cared or dared to interfere with him , and so he dozed under the balmy influence of the detestable molasses ,
like a porpoise , by his fireside ; and his drinking vessel , curiously cut and double-handled , stood beside him , with the glint of the fireli ght on it . It was a singular drinking-cup , and had on it an inscription , with strange figures also . The inscription on it ran thus : " FOK THE SAKE OF ONE , GIVE TO ALL . BE LOVING , AND SHAEE WITH OTHEES . ST . MAKTIN ' S DAY , 11 TH NOVEMBER , 1717 . " AMasonic eye would have also seen the Blazing Star , the Eye with a Badianee , the Sun , Moon , and Seven Stars , the Square ancl Compass , and other emblems . Bat ! tat ! went the knocker ; but John Hector only turned in his easy chair .
Presently it went again . "Rat ! tat ! " it was the postman , ancl there was no letter box , the builder not having found it in his specifications . John Hector was roused , but considered it Ann Eliza Jane ' s duty to answer the door . "Bat ! tat ! " a third time , ancl he was fully awake . Not to have his letters at once was a horror to our hero , and , as he heard uo one going to the door , he did what many another man would do , he went himself . " You ' ve been a long time" grmnblecT the postman" this foggy niht . I was just
, , g going . Here , a letter for Mr . John H . Movis . " " All right , my man , " said that gentleman , and returned to his snug parlour . It was a foreign letter from a great distance abroad , - with many postmarks ; but the address was right , ancl the contents as follows : — " DEAB SIR " ( it ran ) , — " Several years ago you purchased at my shop a curious glass cup , with some strange designs upon it . I told you at the time I did not like to sell itas it
, was scarcely mine to sell , having been left as a security for a small loan , by a gentleman in great pecuniary trouble , who thought some day of redeeming it . You promised to restore it if it ever should be claimed , ancl ten days ago it was . Please to send it to me , and I will return the price . —Yours , etc . "P . S . —Since writing the above , tho gentleman has called , and to save time I have
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
The Loving Cup: Or, How The Dustmen Were Diddled.
in the tomb ( I bought a handy bit of ground at Norwood for the purpose , aud I have the stonemason ' s receipt for the monument ready to be fixed ) , and feel the proud consciousness that , at the Dustmen ' s Annual Dinner , a solemn toast will be given forth by the toastmast ' er , and numberless Dustmen yet to come will pledge—ha ! ha !¦—my sacred memory in the best of old port wine , in duly befitting silence , and a potent peal will be performed on the sacred bell of that noble Society . I—will it be believed ?—though now so morose and grumpywas once a happy
, youth , and ruffled it with the best . I was once foremost in all sports that may become a man ; my football practice is still remembered among the few contemporaries who still growl with me at my antiquated chophouse at the innovations of the time . If I am a curmudgeon , at any rate , I glory in it , and who can interfere with me ? I should like to see 'em , that ' s all .
Now—the curtains are drawn—there ' s no one likely to come to-night , so I can draw forth some of my treasures . Ann Eliza Jane , my handmaid , has brought up the hot water , and the rum bottle is ready to my hand . Some people say rum isn't healthy : I say that's a mistake . Bum ! why , rum is the best of spirits . Add to the sugar and water a proper slice of lemon , ancl yon have a drink fit for the gods ; and if fit for themsufficiently good for an old worn-out Commission Agent . SoJohn Hector
, , Movis , here ' s your jolly good health , my boy , and a pleasant nap ! This old glass cup before me has seen many a good stoup of liquor in it ; and when it is handed round among the United Dustmen , may it do them at least half the good it does me . I ' m afraid I ' ve made it strong ; but I ' m not afraid of gout ; and as for twinges of conscience , they may whistle for 'em . Catch a Commission Agent with a conscience—ha ! ha ! Chrhm 1 chrhni ! ehrhm !
Did the foregoing soliloquy really emanate from the brain of John Hector Movis , or not ? It matters little for our present purpose . John Hector Movis had in the course of his life clone a great number of kind things ; but he liked to be a curmudgeon , ancl would grow red in the face and angry if you hinted he was anything else . Ho was given to soliloquy ; for he was so utterly alone that no one cared or dared to interfere with him , and so he dozed under the balmy influence of the detestable molasses ,
like a porpoise , by his fireside ; and his drinking vessel , curiously cut and double-handled , stood beside him , with the glint of the fireli ght on it . It was a singular drinking-cup , and had on it an inscription , with strange figures also . The inscription on it ran thus : " FOK THE SAKE OF ONE , GIVE TO ALL . BE LOVING , AND SHAEE WITH OTHEES . ST . MAKTIN ' S DAY , 11 TH NOVEMBER , 1717 . " AMasonic eye would have also seen the Blazing Star , the Eye with a Badianee , the Sun , Moon , and Seven Stars , the Square ancl Compass , and other emblems . Bat ! tat ! went the knocker ; but John Hector only turned in his easy chair .
Presently it went again . "Rat ! tat ! " it was the postman , ancl there was no letter box , the builder not having found it in his specifications . John Hector was roused , but considered it Ann Eliza Jane ' s duty to answer the door . "Bat ! tat ! " a third time , ancl he was fully awake . Not to have his letters at once was a horror to our hero , and , as he heard uo one going to the door , he did what many another man would do , he went himself . " You ' ve been a long time" grmnblecT the postman" this foggy niht . I was just
, , g going . Here , a letter for Mr . John H . Movis . " " All right , my man , " said that gentleman , and returned to his snug parlour . It was a foreign letter from a great distance abroad , - with many postmarks ; but the address was right , ancl the contents as follows : — " DEAB SIR " ( it ran ) , — " Several years ago you purchased at my shop a curious glass cup , with some strange designs upon it . I told you at the time I did not like to sell itas it
, was scarcely mine to sell , having been left as a security for a small loan , by a gentleman in great pecuniary trouble , who thought some day of redeeming it . You promised to restore it if it ever should be claimed , ancl ten days ago it was . Please to send it to me , and I will return the price . —Yours , etc . "P . S . —Since writing the above , tho gentleman has called , and to save time I have