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Article A QUEER CAREER. ← Page 10 of 13 →
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A Queer Career.
another of them there sangwiches ? " The last year of you , dear madam of the cotton velvet and the Brummagem jewellery , the last year of your hook-nosed , black-whiskered husband—well—ahem ! we'll say—husband , croaking over the green baize table , under the canvas , " Cum' 'long—now's yer time . The ball's a-rolling , genT'men , irente a q ' rant . Yer can't stake yer coin s' fast as the bank ' 11 lose it , gents . " No no , Inspector Forrester and his merry men are coming clown upon you , Mrs . Mordecai ;
and my friend Mole , whom I meet again beneath your hospitable improvised roof—my friend Mole , in M . B . * coat and tall hat—the soft felt " wide-awake" and the tassellecl broad-brimmed " pot" had not then come into vogue in clerical costume—the country clergyman who has " looked in " to see what this kind of temptation is like—you know —in order that he may warn his congregation at home , and " who don't mind—really don ' t mind—' standing in' with you for a sovereign or two—for they appear—upon my word , they do appear—to play—on the—whole—very fairly "—my friend Mole , I say , will have to find another avocation .
Well , he does . Promptly . He makes a great sensation—say in Kentish Townone Saturday evening , when the tide of cheap commerce of that neighbourhood is at its full height—by seizing a boy by the jacket collar , and beginning at once to lubricate the captured one ' s sleeve with some vile unguent . "It removes beer stains—wine stains—grease stains—fruit stains , " says' Mr . Mole , rubbing away zealously , and when gamin No . 1 wrenches his garb from his captor ' s grasp , he of the wart seizes on the ¦
cap of gamin No . 2 and scours away as cheerfully and vigorously as ever . ' " Only a penny the ball , " he announces pleasantly , and his merchandise disappears rapidly . Want of space compels me to pass over numerous public interviews 1 had with Mr . Mole during the ensuing three years . The record would be monotonous . His appearances were invariably in the character of " Un chevalier de l'lndustrie , " so I will , if you please , glide in silence over the interval I have mentioned .
In the early winter clays of 1 S 56 I had occasion to pass down a street in Shadwell , leading into a greatly frequented thoroughfare . A gentleman ahead of me appeared in much tribulation of mind . He was a clerical-looking party , and he stopped at the corner of the avenue I have mentioned , and , taking up a good position in the roadway , at once , and without the slightest preamble , announced , to the passers by who were attracted by his attitude , his conscientious doubts of the truth of the Christian Eeligion .
He said that he was afflicted in mind . He had hitherto been all wrong , but now the light had been vouchsafed , and he forthwith proceeded to eulogise the works of Mr . David Hume , especially that gentleman ' s " Essay on Miracles , " and the productions of Mr . Thomas Paine , and that philosopher ' s magnum opus , " The Age of Eeason . " By the time he had got about a dozen people around him , " to him "—as the old dramatists say—entered a disputant . Ha ! Ha ! That shiny black hat , those well polished , albeit down-at-heel and patched boots , that greasy surtout . Do I not know ye ? Mr . Mole incontinently proceeded to prove from Jerome , Athanasius , Chrysostom , Polycarp ,
Thomas a Kempis , and some dozen other of the I athers , that the clerical-bolting one was all wrong , and departing from the primitive faith without the slightest reason . He tenderly touched upon the days when he was maudlin—I mean at Maudlin—and , finally , after a very animated discussion , gracefully collected the oblations of an admiring auditory in his inverted " four-and-nine . " There was a public-house at the corner of the thorouglrfare . There are not
infrequently establishments of this character at the corner of London thoroug hfares . Polemics have a tendency to produce thirst . This inconvenience I was subsequently allaying in the " private compartment , " which " gives upon" the " coffee-room . " Through the glass pane inserted in the top of the door leading to this sanctuary I beheld Mr . Mole and his whilom opponent seated at a table , comfortably drinking what appeared to be cold gin and water . They were likewise smoking cigars . —Havannahs , apparently . I had contributed guerdon to these theological minnesingers , but I was
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
A Queer Career.
another of them there sangwiches ? " The last year of you , dear madam of the cotton velvet and the Brummagem jewellery , the last year of your hook-nosed , black-whiskered husband—well—ahem ! we'll say—husband , croaking over the green baize table , under the canvas , " Cum' 'long—now's yer time . The ball's a-rolling , genT'men , irente a q ' rant . Yer can't stake yer coin s' fast as the bank ' 11 lose it , gents . " No no , Inspector Forrester and his merry men are coming clown upon you , Mrs . Mordecai ;
and my friend Mole , whom I meet again beneath your hospitable improvised roof—my friend Mole , in M . B . * coat and tall hat—the soft felt " wide-awake" and the tassellecl broad-brimmed " pot" had not then come into vogue in clerical costume—the country clergyman who has " looked in " to see what this kind of temptation is like—you know —in order that he may warn his congregation at home , and " who don't mind—really don ' t mind—' standing in' with you for a sovereign or two—for they appear—upon my word , they do appear—to play—on the—whole—very fairly "—my friend Mole , I say , will have to find another avocation .
Well , he does . Promptly . He makes a great sensation—say in Kentish Townone Saturday evening , when the tide of cheap commerce of that neighbourhood is at its full height—by seizing a boy by the jacket collar , and beginning at once to lubricate the captured one ' s sleeve with some vile unguent . "It removes beer stains—wine stains—grease stains—fruit stains , " says' Mr . Mole , rubbing away zealously , and when gamin No . 1 wrenches his garb from his captor ' s grasp , he of the wart seizes on the ¦
cap of gamin No . 2 and scours away as cheerfully and vigorously as ever . ' " Only a penny the ball , " he announces pleasantly , and his merchandise disappears rapidly . Want of space compels me to pass over numerous public interviews 1 had with Mr . Mole during the ensuing three years . The record would be monotonous . His appearances were invariably in the character of " Un chevalier de l'lndustrie , " so I will , if you please , glide in silence over the interval I have mentioned .
In the early winter clays of 1 S 56 I had occasion to pass down a street in Shadwell , leading into a greatly frequented thoroughfare . A gentleman ahead of me appeared in much tribulation of mind . He was a clerical-looking party , and he stopped at the corner of the avenue I have mentioned , and , taking up a good position in the roadway , at once , and without the slightest preamble , announced , to the passers by who were attracted by his attitude , his conscientious doubts of the truth of the Christian Eeligion .
He said that he was afflicted in mind . He had hitherto been all wrong , but now the light had been vouchsafed , and he forthwith proceeded to eulogise the works of Mr . David Hume , especially that gentleman ' s " Essay on Miracles , " and the productions of Mr . Thomas Paine , and that philosopher ' s magnum opus , " The Age of Eeason . " By the time he had got about a dozen people around him , " to him "—as the old dramatists say—entered a disputant . Ha ! Ha ! That shiny black hat , those well polished , albeit down-at-heel and patched boots , that greasy surtout . Do I not know ye ? Mr . Mole incontinently proceeded to prove from Jerome , Athanasius , Chrysostom , Polycarp ,
Thomas a Kempis , and some dozen other of the I athers , that the clerical-bolting one was all wrong , and departing from the primitive faith without the slightest reason . He tenderly touched upon the days when he was maudlin—I mean at Maudlin—and , finally , after a very animated discussion , gracefully collected the oblations of an admiring auditory in his inverted " four-and-nine . " There was a public-house at the corner of the thorouglrfare . There are not
infrequently establishments of this character at the corner of London thoroug hfares . Polemics have a tendency to produce thirst . This inconvenience I was subsequently allaying in the " private compartment , " which " gives upon" the " coffee-room . " Through the glass pane inserted in the top of the door leading to this sanctuary I beheld Mr . Mole and his whilom opponent seated at a table , comfortably drinking what appeared to be cold gin and water . They were likewise smoking cigars . —Havannahs , apparently . I had contributed guerdon to these theological minnesingers , but I was