Peter Beerie.

our quiet village at 11 . 30 on Saturday night . He ought to have been there at 4 . 50 . Peter , who had " missed his train , " and " had eaten nothing the whole day , " Peter—yes , I am sorry to say it—Peter was " tight ; " and I , well—I was , like all others , obliged to overlook the dire truth as a " first offence . " Before Peter went to bed thatnight , he however contrived to " put under his belt" two mutton chops ( which he speciallasked for—it was the London

y habit , he said ) , some eggs and bacon , coffee and beer , and some " spirits" which Peter had contrived to smuggle into the house . When I first saw Peter by daylight , I distrusted him at once . I give his portrait , which for some weeks I saw too often ever to forget . Peter was thin , " short in stature and loose in person , " shambling ; he had a white facewith dirty looking ginger whiskersa narrow foreheadand

, , , two such fishy eyes which never looked you in the face , and then such a scowl . Peter then had a sort of " yokel" look and way about him which I had reason to believe afterwards was " put on , " and he professed to know nothing , and only to say , " no !"—with a drawl , or " yes . " Peter had a squeaky voice when it was raised in the kitchen , which was peculiarl y unpleasant . It was a cross , if you can realise it , between a " Jew ' s harp " and a " penny whistle . "

Peter , no doubt , was in a continued state of " dirt and beer " while with me , and perhaps he was not in his . normal condition or appearance . On this point I cannot speak , though he soon ingratiated himself with the cook and servant , " more suo , " though everything went wrong in the house . He never did anything ; he was always late ; if he was sent on a message he did not come back ; and when he sang the hymns loudlin churchoff the cook ' s hymn book

y , ( does it not put you in mind of Muzzle and the cook , and the No . 4 collection in " Pickwick" ) , and committed several other profane acts , I began to have serious doubts of his religious principles . They were , as an excellent member of the Police Force observed to me confidentially , " all' Walker , ' sir , " shaking his head vehemently . But doubt soon gave way to conviction , conviction to moral certainty .

I once laid a trap for Peter , which will give my readers a good idea of the man . I had reason to believe that Peter , like other servants I have known , read his master ' s letters , and so one day I turned a letter upside down on my escretoire , and summoning Peter , I said , " I ' m going out for a few minutes ; if Mr . Jones calls , tell him to wait . " When I returned , my letter was on my escretoire , but put right . So I rang the bell and I said , " Peter , I wish you to leave my letters alone . " If you had seen his injured look of innocenceand

, heard his protestations , you would have smiled , but still more when , with a look of slyness , he added , " Perhaps , sir , it was Mary . " And so one morning I mustered up courage and sent the innocent and religious Peter , despite his tears and protestations , back to the " little village , " much to the discomfiture and distress , I admit , of two confiding females and the disappointment and displeasure of several disreputable pals . If any of

my readers are blessed with such a treasure , let them do as I did—bundle him out of the house . I was onl y too long in doing it . Such a person is a curse to a house ; he is the ruin of every servant with whom he comes in contact . Of all hypocrites , the greatest are they who profess to be religious ; and , like the " Shepherd " in the great and immortal work quoted before , I am inclined to think , and . not without pious hopes , that all such " rogues in grain ,

veneered in sanctimonious theories , " are "booked for something uncomfortable . " Can nothing be done to get true characters and good servants ? A special agent recommends a " Didust Buch , " like they have in Germany ; but that is absurd in England . No , the only hope I have is , that employers will yet learn to be honest , will give up equivocation ancl prevarication in order to get rid of a troublesome , or disagreeable , or even dangerous servant , and will dare to speak the truth , and actually to try and do unto others as they would be done to by them .