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  • The Masonic Magazine
  • July 1, 1876
  • Page 49
  • THE NEW SCHOOL DIRECTOR.
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The Masonic Magazine, July 1, 1876: Page 49

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    Article NOTES ON LITERATURE, SCIENCE AND ART. ← Page 3 of 3
    Article THE NEW SCHOOL DIRECTOR. Page 1 of 2 →
Page 49

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Notes On Literature, Science And Art.

author iu a pecuniary point of view , nor yet bring popular applause , aud it is well for the nation which has men , like Col . Fishwick , able and willing to work in so useful a manner—content to receive no other recompense than the pleasure of doing

something which will be of utility to society , and the approbation of that " fit audience though few" of which Milton sings . Lancashire , though one of the poorest agricultural counties of our country , has long been famous for the indomitable energy of

her sons . Her manufactures have stood conspicuous in the markets of the world ; the beauty of the "Lancashire Witches " has been deservedly commended , though

I never could see them anything superior to the maids and matrons of our other counties— for , thank God , female loveliness is no monopoly—but I know of nothing in which Lancashire stands out in such bold relief from our other counties as in the number of gifted authorsmale and

, female , who have hel ped to increase every department of our glorious English literature ; a literature which can never perish , whatever New Zealanders , or others may sit on broken arches of London Bridge sketching the ruins of St . Paul ' s , or even when

the ruins themselves shall have perished , and no arch remains to sit upon . So Ion " as Col . Fishwick employs himself in such useful literary labours as he has now been engaged in for years , " may his shadow never grow less . " Rose Cottage , Slokesley .

The New School Director.

THE NEW SCHOOL DIRECTOR .

WE take this amusing little "skit" from our fraternal contemporary , the " New York Dispatch . " Mr . TIMOTHY SEARCH was highly elated over his election to the vacant chair in the School Board of bis district , and he at

once began to take a great interest in educational affairs . He wanted plain teaching , he said ; didn't want any high-falutin learning forced upon the scholars , and declared that he would kick the first teacher out of the school-house who attempted to stuff the children with any new-fangled notions . Therefore , the new director was startled

when his most promising son told him that the teacher proposed to introduce Algebra into the school . " What kind of a study is that ? " asked Mrs . Search . "Timothy , I'll be bound that it ' s some outlandish book that Dominie has writ . My son ' s brains shan ' t be stuffed with it !"

" Doesn t the sound of the name tell you what kind of a study it is ? " answered Search . " Why , it ' s the history of a new faugled animal related to the zebra , I suppose . Blamed if he shall teach it in this school district !"

That very afternoon the new director visited the school for the first time . He was graciously received by the new teacher , who was listening to a class in geography . " I understand , sir , that you want to introduce the history of the Ahjebra into this school ? " said Search .

" I had thought of doing so . " " Had thought of it , eh ? Well , let it go no further than that . I don't want my children to know anything about such outlandish animals . The Ahjebra may run wild in his native country ; but we don't want him troubling the children in our

schools , that we don ' t . " " But , Mr . Search , the new study will assist the scholars in mathematics . " " See here , that ' s thin . If 1 would read the history of the rhinoceros , could I substract any better than I do ? Would

the biography of the giraffe enable me to multiply with more facility ? Now , sir , answer these -questions , and tell me how the history of the Ahjebra could advance the children in arithmetic ?"

" You misunderstand me , sir , said the teacher , "Algebra is not an animal—no more so than hydrostatics . " " Hydro-thunder 1 " exclaimed Search . " I suppose you'd like to introduce acrimonies into the school . With my consent no torn-foolery shall be taught in this

district . The ahjebra , is as much an animal as the gyascutas is , and if I hear another word about teaching its history to our scholars , I'll be blamed if you can't leave . " "Sir , I regret that we differ . What shall I teach ?'

" leach good common sense , sir , " said Search ; " teach that this world is flat , as reason and our eye-si ght tell us . We don ' t want any round worlds swingiu' on nuthin'

“The Masonic Magazine: 1876-07-01, Page 49” Masonic Periodicals Online, Library and Museum of Freemasonry, 24 May 2025, django:8000/periodicals/mmg/issues/mmg_01071876/page/49/.
  • List
  • Grid
Title Category Page
Untitled Article 1
TO OUR READERS. Article 2
INDEX. Article 4
Monthly Masonic Summary. Article 7
SONNET. Article 7
A PCEAN. Article 8
SOCIAL PROBLEMS AND THEIR PEACEFUL SOLUTION. Article 10
THE BROKEN TESSERA. Article 13
THE WOMEN OF OUR TIME. Article 14
A WORD FOR OUR BOYS. Article 17
SONNET. Article 19
TRIADS IN MASONRY. Article 19
NOTES ON THE OLD MINUTE BOOKS OF THE BRITISH UNION LODGE, No. 114, IPSWICH. A.D. 1762. Article 20
AN ITALIAN COUNT. Article 24
WHISTLE DOWN THE BRAKES. Article 28
ZOROASTRIANISM AND FREEMASONRY. Article 28
THE OLD FISHER'S TALE. Article 32
FAIRY TALES UTILISED FOR, THE NEW GENERATION. Article 32
SPRING. Article 35
THE EDUCATION OF SOCIETY. Article 35
THE ORIGIN AND REFERENCES OF THE HERMESIAN SPURIOUS FREEMASONRY. Article 37
Untitled Article 41
Our Archaeological Corner. Article 42
THE TROAD. Article 43
A STRICKEN HEART. Article 47
NOTES ON LITERATURE, SCIENCE AND ART. Article 47
THE NEW SCHOOL DIRECTOR. Article 49
REVIEW. Article 50
MASONIC CYCLOPAEDIA. Article 54
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.

Notes On Literature, Science And Art.

author iu a pecuniary point of view , nor yet bring popular applause , aud it is well for the nation which has men , like Col . Fishwick , able and willing to work in so useful a manner—content to receive no other recompense than the pleasure of doing

something which will be of utility to society , and the approbation of that " fit audience though few" of which Milton sings . Lancashire , though one of the poorest agricultural counties of our country , has long been famous for the indomitable energy of

her sons . Her manufactures have stood conspicuous in the markets of the world ; the beauty of the "Lancashire Witches " has been deservedly commended , though

I never could see them anything superior to the maids and matrons of our other counties— for , thank God , female loveliness is no monopoly—but I know of nothing in which Lancashire stands out in such bold relief from our other counties as in the number of gifted authorsmale and

, female , who have hel ped to increase every department of our glorious English literature ; a literature which can never perish , whatever New Zealanders , or others may sit on broken arches of London Bridge sketching the ruins of St . Paul ' s , or even when

the ruins themselves shall have perished , and no arch remains to sit upon . So Ion " as Col . Fishwick employs himself in such useful literary labours as he has now been engaged in for years , " may his shadow never grow less . " Rose Cottage , Slokesley .

The New School Director.

THE NEW SCHOOL DIRECTOR .

WE take this amusing little "skit" from our fraternal contemporary , the " New York Dispatch . " Mr . TIMOTHY SEARCH was highly elated over his election to the vacant chair in the School Board of bis district , and he at

once began to take a great interest in educational affairs . He wanted plain teaching , he said ; didn't want any high-falutin learning forced upon the scholars , and declared that he would kick the first teacher out of the school-house who attempted to stuff the children with any new-fangled notions . Therefore , the new director was startled

when his most promising son told him that the teacher proposed to introduce Algebra into the school . " What kind of a study is that ? " asked Mrs . Search . "Timothy , I'll be bound that it ' s some outlandish book that Dominie has writ . My son ' s brains shan ' t be stuffed with it !"

" Doesn t the sound of the name tell you what kind of a study it is ? " answered Search . " Why , it ' s the history of a new faugled animal related to the zebra , I suppose . Blamed if he shall teach it in this school district !"

That very afternoon the new director visited the school for the first time . He was graciously received by the new teacher , who was listening to a class in geography . " I understand , sir , that you want to introduce the history of the Ahjebra into this school ? " said Search .

" I had thought of doing so . " " Had thought of it , eh ? Well , let it go no further than that . I don't want my children to know anything about such outlandish animals . The Ahjebra may run wild in his native country ; but we don't want him troubling the children in our

schools , that we don ' t . " " But , Mr . Search , the new study will assist the scholars in mathematics . " " See here , that ' s thin . If 1 would read the history of the rhinoceros , could I substract any better than I do ? Would

the biography of the giraffe enable me to multiply with more facility ? Now , sir , answer these -questions , and tell me how the history of the Ahjebra could advance the children in arithmetic ?"

" You misunderstand me , sir , said the teacher , "Algebra is not an animal—no more so than hydrostatics . " " Hydro-thunder 1 " exclaimed Search . " I suppose you'd like to introduce acrimonies into the school . With my consent no torn-foolery shall be taught in this

district . The ahjebra , is as much an animal as the gyascutas is , and if I hear another word about teaching its history to our scholars , I'll be blamed if you can't leave . " "Sir , I regret that we differ . What shall I teach ?'

" leach good common sense , sir , " said Search ; " teach that this world is flat , as reason and our eye-si ght tell us . We don ' t want any round worlds swingiu' on nuthin'

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